Top Ten Worst Pancake Toppings!

Mikey McCollor

Pancakes are for sure my favorite food of all time. When I was little, I would go over to my grandma's and always ask for pancakes, but she would tell me there was nothing more arduous, more time-consuming, more flat-out difficult than making pancakes. And they were so good tasting that I believed her. But now that I'm grown up I've discovered that my grandma just didn't like seeing me happy and making pancakes is basically the easiest thing in the world. So now I make pancakes all the time and my grandmother is all alone in a nursing home. I know I won't be visiting her, because a) she's a goddamn liar and b) I'm too busy making up for lost time with pancakes! Here are the top ten toppings I've found that don't go well on pancakes!

 

10. Bananas

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This isn't to say bananas are bad on pancakes, per se, but they're the least good good thing to put on pancakes. Hey, this is a top ten list and it's really hard to find ten things that aren't good on pancakes!

 

9. Miracle Whip

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For some reason, I needed this experience to learn the difference between the words "Miracle" and "Cool".

 

8. Tiny paper circles from a three hole punch

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The only way to make the tiny circles taste good on pancakes is if you coat them in syrup, and then you just have to take a step back.

 

7. Motor oil

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This is better for a car than for pancakes.

 

6. The second book in George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, A Clash of Kings

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Everyone says the fourth book, A Feast for Crows, is the most boring book on pancakes, but I thought it was interesting. On pancakes.

 

5. Knives

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Pancakes are supposed to make you bleed from happiness, not from eating knives!

 

4. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

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Let's face it, he's no Macho Man Man Randy Savage.

 

3. Source code for the website Politico.com

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A little too much javascript for my tastes.

 

2. Poison

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I'll be dead in an hour!

 

1. Cinnamon

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Yuck! On pancakes?!

 

What are your least favorite pancake toppings? Let me know on Twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

 

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