Wondering how to get intimate with Justin Bieber? Feel closer to Robert Pattinson or Hannah Montana?
Problem solved.
In my research, I've found that it's incredibly easy to get in contact with super-famous celebrities. You just need to know a few tricks.
1. Follow Him/Her on Twitter
Nothing shows devotion like knowing what the celeb in question is doing 24/7. Plus, they'll be very impressed when you meet them and you can recall every bowel movement they've had since '08.
2. Google Them Every Day
Just in case a new fan page opens up that you can flame for their crappy graphics.
3. Camp Outside Their Confirmed Whereabouts
Take one of those celebrity bus tours and when they pass your celeb's house, jump out and pitch your tent. (Note: boner joke intended.)
4. Search Through Their Garbage
You never know what you may find. Tax returns, used chewing gum, and hairbrushes all come in handy when making a voodoo doll of them. Voodoo dolls are very effective in making the celeb fall in love with you. I highly recommend this.
5. Send Them Love Letters
Write your celeb a letter proclaiming your undying love for them. Make sure to send copies of the letter to their website, fan club, agent, manager, mom, or whomever has a connection to them. Then prepare yourself for the restraining order.
6. Get a Job at Their Favorite Restaurant
Celebs love to eat out, and if you want to get elbow-to-elbow with them, what better way than to take their order? You can engage them in conversation and then steal their credit card number when it's time to pay the bill.
7. Put a Tracker on Their Car
Your celeb is likely in their car several times per week. If you can afford it -- and know where to buy it -- get a tracker and attach it to their car. You'll have them on your radar any time you want.
8. Move to Their City
You'd be shocked at how effective this is!
Who are you going to track?
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