Sarah's weekly post on what America is doing with its life.
Juan-Carlos Cruz, some vaguely celebrity chef and former Food Network host, was arrested over the weekend after hiring a bunch of homeless people from a park in Santa Monica to kill his wife.
None of us seem to know who he is, so here is some background on the not-so-bright criminal.
He was some sort of reality show contestant on a Discovery Heath Network dieting show. The then-pastry chef lost a bunch of weight and ended up on the Food Network hosting two health-conscious cooking shows, "Calorie Commando" and "Weighing In". (Neither show has existed for some time now.)
Cruz gave the homeless people a box containing a box cutter, disposable cell phone, gloves, and a watch. He gave them half of the promised $1000 and a photograph of the rest of the money.
The murder for hire plot claims Cruz hired the homeless people for $1001 dollars, due to the fact he also gave one of them bus fare to the crime scene. He even gave the group of homeless people the code to his apartment, so they could kill his wife indoors.
He is being held on $5 million bail, which he has confirmed he has no ability to pay...ever. See you on "America’s Dumbest Criminals", Juan-Carlos!
And FYI, the food in jail sucks.
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