So a couple of months ago the internet FREAKED OUT about KFC’s new sandwich, the Double Down. Not to be outdone, Friendly’s (this is a real chain) recently unveiled the “Grilled Cheese Burger Melt,” which is pretty much what it sounds like. Instead of replacing the bun with chicken, Friendy’s took a burger and replaced the bun with two grilled-cheese sandwiches.
With the all these new sandwiches, it’s clear we’ve entered a new and dangerous era of food. Regular meals don’t satisfy Americas anymore - we are now cobbling whole food items together like some kind of delicious Frankenstein monster. Half of the things on the list are combo-foods we imagine are going to be invented any day now, and the other half are things that frighteningly exist currently. Can you tell which is which? The answers are at the end, and don’t think that my mediocre Photoshop skills will tip you off. I’ve changed the backgrounds on ALL of them.
8. The Squeeze Play
Order this, and you only have to make one trip to the concession stand.
7. Sausage & Cinnamon Roll Morning Stick
It’s like a corndog, but instead of a hotdog, it’s a breakfast sausage, and instead of corndog batter, it’s coated with cinnamon bun. It’s part of this compete breakfast.
6. Pizza Rollchos
This one is pretty simple. It’s a plate of Pizza Rolls, covered with everything you’d normally put on nachos - cheese, beef, sour cream, guacamole, onions, and if you really care, love. This goes good with some ranch dipping sauce.
5. Bacon Crumble Pie
Do you like bacon, and apple pie, and sugar, and cheddar cheese, but hate your heart, your arteries, and your blood pressure? Then this is bacon-cheese-apple pie might be just the thing for you.
4. Breakfast Shake
Gravy, bacon, and sausage blended together, served with biscuit on the side. This is the exactly polar opposite of a Slim Fast shake.
3. French Fry Coated Hot Dog On a Stick
Corndogs are tasty and all, but if you have fries to eat too, who has time? NO ONE! That is, until now. The French Fry Coated Hot Dog is a complete meal on a stick. Now you have plenty of time to go to the gym!
2. Cadbury Creme Eggs Benedict
From the official internet description: “Sliced doughnuts topped with brownie mix, melted Cadbury Creme Eggs and frosting, garnished with red sprinkles and served with fried pound cake chunks.” There are diabetics who slip into insulin comas just thinking about this dish.
1. Quad Down Bacon Burger
Inspired by the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt, instead of replacing the bun with grilled-chesse sandwiches, the bun is replaced by two KFC “Double Downs.” It’s a sandwich within a sandwich within a sandwich. If you use a QuadDown as the bun on another sandwich, you can break the space-time continuum, and you can see through time.
ANSWERS:
Current real things:
2. Cadbury Creme Eggs Benedict, 3. French Fry Coated Hot Dog On a Stick, 5. Bacon Crumble, 8. The Squeeze Play
Not real….yet:
1. QuadDown Bacon Burger, 4. Breakfast Shake, 6. Pizza Rollchos, 7. Sausage & Cinnamon Roll Morning Stick
In the comments, let us know your favorite ridiculous food.
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