8 Dolls That Will Kill You

M.J. Offen

Chucky may be the Charles Manson of murderous dolls, but he is just one in a long line of toys with a thirst for human blood.

 

Chucky & Bride

Chucky & his bloody bride may be the Bonnie & Clyde of possessed playthings, but they are simply the prom King & Queen among a class of toys that KILL FOR PLEASURE.

 

Chucky Copycat Killers

And we all remember the horrifying string of Chucky copycat murders.

 

Jigsaw

Then there’s dolls like Jigsaw. We all know this asshole.

But there are other familiar faces in our own attics that are equally GUILTY. Faces that are all TOO familiar, yet have slipped through the grasp of the law…

 

 

Pepi The Cymbal Playing Monkey

Despite years of suspiciously psychotic behavior, “Pepi” the Cymbal Clanging Monkey goes by many aliases, “Jimbo,” “Jolly the Chimp,” “Biteface McKilly” and more. His weapon of choice? Inducing heart failure though sheer terror.

 

Barbie

Don’t let the pretty face fool you. Barbie is a wicked She-Demon in 5-centimeter heels. Jealous & vengeful, you know the expression “hung like a Ken doll”? Let’s just say Ken wasn’t always build that way.

 

Sesame Street

Probably the most powerful & least known crime family in the world, the Muppet Mafia secretly puppet the people we fear most. They say Oscar the Grouch’s garbage can is full of a lot more than trash. (Bodies. Dead bodies.)

 

Scooter

The Kaiser Söze of the Muppet mob, Scooter was the unlikely ringleader. Not many viewers noticed that Gonzo’s hens were never the same from week to week, but the fact is Scooter slaughtered them constantly. Some say he plucked his victims & made a comforter from their feathers.

 

Lots-O-Huggin' Bear

The villain of Toy Story 3, Lots-O-Huggin’ Bear has a hit list off screen that is far from fiction. The director’s cut of TS3 is allegedly so gruesome that only 1% made the final cut. Prior to his Pixar debut, Lotso’s film career was limited to snuff films.

 

Little Bo Peep

Notably absent from Toy Story 3 was Little Bo Peep. Didn’t Woody’s brushing off of her absence strike you as suspect? Well it should. Peep, the “crook killer,” is doing hard time on the Island Of Misfit Toys.

Watch your backs this Halloween season, people. That cuddly buddy you’ve snuggled since childhood? It may just stab your eyes out and stuff your head with plush.

What's the creepiest killer toy of all?

 

Check Out I'm A Serial Killer!

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