Alright here's a crazy story for you ripped from the pages of the real life news. Did you see this? It seems that some crabby old middle-aged dude shot a Memphis teenager in the buttocks for wearing his pants too low.
45 year old Kenneth E. Bonds was hanging out on the front porch when he saw a couple of local teens approaching. The teens were wearing the classic gangsta-style baggy pants, hanging low, with their boxers and underwear hanging out. We've all seen it. We've all laughed at it. Some of us have worn it. (Admit it!)
So Bonds does what crabby middle-aged dudes have been doing for hundreds of thousands of years and yelled at them to pull up their drawers. But the boys were obviously rebels and refused. So Bonds got even crabbier at the disrespect they showed and a fight followed.
Generations coliding in an altercation that would soon make headline news across the country.
I'm tired of these mother****ing pants, hanging under your mother*****ing butt!
So they are arguing and Bonds pulls out a semi-automatic hand gun and from what I've read "brandished" it at the teens, yelling at them that he was going to shoot them. And shoot them he did. The teens turned and ran away as Bonds opened fire.
The first shot missed... but the second shot hit one of the teens right smack dab in the middle of his baggy ass drawers - penetrating his buttocks area. Which means that Mr. Bonds is a pretty good shot. I mean to hit a moving target right where he was obviously aiming... not a bad shot at all Mr. Bonds. Yet, still a crime, and now you have been arrested and face criminal charges.
Don't worry, the teens injuries weren't serious... He's back to wearing his baggy drawers with his pal. But still he was shot in the ass with a bullet. I mean, people don't get shot in the ass every day.
It wasn't long ago that Atlanta and several other cities were considering propositions to make wearing baggy pants illegal. I don't think any of the banns actually went though though. Just think, if that law had passed this violent altercation would have never happened.
Which I think teaches us that we should press congress to immediately move forward on a Nation wide ban on "Droopy Drawers" as they're called. In an effort to save lives. Or at least save people from getting shot in the butt.
Look, there's no way around it. Baggy pants look stupid and they're certainly not worth dying for. I think that if a big ol' middle aged dude with a gun tells you to pull your pants up, you should just suck it up and pull up your drawers.
What do you think? Did Bonds go to far or was he justified in taking a shot at the teens? What other fashion statements do you happen to hate?
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