10 College Classes We’d Like to See

Tamar Love Grande

With the University of South Carolina‘s exciting announcement that they’re now offering a course in Gagaism – "Lady Gaga and the Sociology of Fame."

We thought we’d share our ideas for a few more college classes we’d like to see.

 

1. “Understanding White People”

At long last, students would have the opportunity to learn all about those mysterious white people we keep hearing all about. Your final exam question: “Prove that Mel Gibson is racially sensitive, citing three films in which he worked with black or minority actors.”

 

2. “Cross-Gender Studies: The Sexuality of ‘Star Trek’”

Fans of “Star Trek” know that sexuality is a common theme on all four series. Your mid-term essay question could be something like: “Discuss the gender identification of Captain James Tiberius Kirk, Commander William Riker, Ensign Wesley Crusher and Captain Kathryn Janeway.”

 

3. “Pole Vaulting for Seniors”

A dynamic physical education course specifically for seniors, this class teaches our older generation the secrets of gravity and torque. To pass, your grandpa would have to successfully vault over a 25’ bar.

 

4. “Tapping into Our National Psyche: The Role of Maple Syrup in America”

Graduate students can spend an entire semester examining the history, processing and bottling of Beyonce’s favorite condiment. Your final paper: “Celebrities I Want to Tap.”

 

5. “Wiccan Magick 101: Modern Warlockery”

Professor Varden Longstaff would teach this practical class about unlocking your inner warlock. Your final exam: invoking the spirit of Amnon.

 

6. “Sociology 656: The Role of TV Dramas in Forming American Values”

This engaging class would explore how soap operas shape American society and define family values. Your final paper would be: “General Hospital and Grey’s Anatomy: Diagnosing TV Douchebaggery.”

 

7. “Advance Scrapbooking Seminar”

Graduate students will learn how to transform old family photos into a delightful album decorated with flowers, funny fonts and naughty puppies. Your final project would be: transforming daguerreotypes into festive holiday cards.

 

8. “Computer Studies 246: Online Dating for Geriatrics”

Computer science students would enjoy examining the connection between internet dating and technophobic seniors. Your final project could be: getting grandpa a date with a transvestite hooker.

 

9. “The Physics of Professional Wrestling”

Not just a form of TV entertainment, pro wrestling has had a significant impact on American sports. You would learn how the laws of physics enabled WWE champ Randy Orton to defeat Sheamus at the 2010 Night of Champions. Your final exam question: “How did ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin’s Austin 3:16 shirt become the best-selling shirt in wrestling history?”

 

10. “Theater Studies 214: Kristen Stewart’s Acting Techniques”

Students would study the films of “Twilight” star Kristen Stewart and examine how her techniques have made her the best actress in film history. Your essay final: “Who is the better actress, Kristen Stewart or Meryl Streep?”

What are some college classes that you'd like to see?

 

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