Besides massive profits, Google is all about helping people. In fact, they don't even want you to waste time typing entire questions. That's where auto-complete comes in. If enough people do the same search, Google takes a guess that you are doing that same search also. I did some research (via Google) to find out just what Google thinks about a few celebs, and oh man, it isn't pretty...
Do you hate any of these celebrities, or is Google being too harsh? Let us know in the comments!
Snooki
Snooki is 1/2 Italian, 1/4 Irish, and 1/4 Oompa Loompa.
On a show known for ridiculous personalities, it's hard to stand out as the most ridiculous. But Snooki does indeed stand out. It doesn't help that her name is one of three words that rhyme with nookie.
Not a little ugly, or regular ugly. Snooki is apparently SO ugly. And also fat. Very cruel, Google.
Taylor Lautner
Let me grab my rain jacket. LOL J/K I don't wear clothing on my torso!
He's the teenager all the moms like to lust after, without fear of going to jail! Team Chris Hansen!
Most of the time, when someone is trying to slander a male celeb, people just say they are gay. So "bi" is very suspicious. Is he actually gay, and girls are looking for evidence they still have a shot?
Kanye West
Wait a sec. I think he WAS saying she was a gold-digger.
Listen, we all know Kanye is a douche. Don't make me google it.
Yep. I KNEW it. I also love that a joke about Kanye's twitter is the second hit.
Miley Cyrus
Quick, Miley, what's a lizard look like?
Miley is a world famous actress and singer, and she's barely older than a child. I bet that means people want to know if she's banging anyone...
Lucky China.
Kristen Stewart
No Google. I really am looking for info on KristIn Stewart...
While girls seem to love Robert Pattinson or Talyor Lautner, no one seems to like Kristen Stewart. Maybe she should try growing some abs and sparkling?
I'd be shy too if the top Google search for my name was "horrible actress."
Perez Hilton
You can tell he's edgy because of his hair.
How is this guy famous? Drawing sperm on photos of celebrities? I did that before it was cool. And I did it for the ART.
I imagine this list and Perez's resume are IDENTICAL.
Lady Gaga
Gaga likes sushi, since it's RAW RAW, RAWRAWRAW.
I can already tell where this is going. People on the internet want to know if Lady Gaga is a man or a hermaphrodite or something.
Why do people want Gaga to be a man? WE DON'T WANT HER.
John Mayer
This man, with this hair, sleeps with super models...
John Mayer sells a good amount of records, and seems friendly enough, but everyone seems to think he's a douche
Wow, another double douche. Congrats? That's most of the ways you can be a douche. We should get a grassroots movement to get "douchecanoe" added to that list.
Taylor Swift
I'ma let you finish, but Zachary Taylor Thomas was the best Taylor of all time!
Is it me, or are most of her songs about stealing away someone else's man? She's like a reverse matchmaker.
Flat? You need to google that? JUST LOOK AT A PICTURE OF HER. If she's flat, you should be able to tell. (Actually, now that I think about it, maybe an actual physical inspection is the only way to be sure.)
Mel Gibson
Again! Again! Tell me that racist, homophobic joke again. It KILLS me!
So, Mel has been getting some bad press the last few years, mostly for saying horrible, horrible things. But hey, "Braveheart" was pretty good. Maybe it evens out?
"Dead," eh? Is that better or worse than douche? I'm guessing better, since lots of people think Mel is "My Hero" and "Awesome." What's wrong with you, internet?
Demi Lovato
More like, NOvato, right? Right?
This woman dated a Jonas Brother, and lived to tell the tale of not getting any tail. What does google have in store for her?
"Mean?" Who is googling her, three-year olds? Wait, "is legal" is the number two result. I guess it's a mix of children who think she's mean and creepy dudes waiting for her to become legally bangable. Diverse fan base!
Justin Bieber
I was like, baby, baby, baby, baby.. wait. How many is that?
We make fun of Bieber pretty much constantly here. We know it's wrong, but it's oh... so... easy. But what does the REST of the internet think about the Bieb?
I know a lot of people dislike him, but you can't Google someone dead, people. Google is powerful, but not that powerful. The one I don't get is "fake." Like what, he's photoshoped? BIEBER IS ALL TOO REAL.
Click here to watch Ian Is Bored: Google Search Shenanigans!
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