Now that Harry Potter is almost over, Daniel Radcliffe is going to need a new job… and we have a few ideas...
1. Owner of a Leather Bar
With that sensitive beard and hairy chest, what bear wouldn’t love Daniel?
2. Actor: “My Life as a Little Girl”
Daniel would surely win an Emmy in his role as Justin Bieber in the made-for-UPN biopic, “My Life as a Little Girl.”
3. Horse Trainer
Daniel has already proven that he can handle an equine, so we think he’d make an excellent horse trainer. We just hope he isn’t naked when he rides bareback.
4. Tattoo Artist
At long last, Daniel will be able to wear his lightning bolt for real.
5. Adult Film Star
Since he already appeared naked in Equus, being naked in adult films is the logical next step.
6. Optometrist
You’re a doctor, Harry!
7. Wheat Farmer
Daniel would be a great gentleman farmer once he bulks up a little. That field isn’t going to plow itself!
8. Butt Double
With those cheeks, Daniel would make a fine butt double for Levi Johnston.
Wait, Levi doesn’t seem to have a problem showing off his own butt…
9. Armed Forces Recruiter
Although armed forces recruitment is over 100% of their goal, our continued presence in the Middle East could see those numbers decrease over the next few years. Wouldn’t Daniel make a great recruiter?
10. Ghost
With his pasty skin and googly eyes, Daniel would make a fine ghost. We imagine him haunting Edinburgh Castle, rumored to be the real-life inspiration for Hogwarts.
11. Sensitive Poet
We’d love to see Daniel reading poetry in a dive café in San Francisco…
12. Super-Model
With that girly face and smooth skin, Daniel could easily become America’s Next Top Model.
13. Nordstrom’s Bra Fitter
This career didn’t occur to us until we saw this touching, sensitive photo of Daniel in a bra.
14. Vampire in the 16th “Twilight” Movie
Speaking of acting roles, Daniel would be awesome in one of the “Twilight” movie. Of course, by then, Robert Pattinson will be old and wrinkly, and Kristen Stewart will be playing Oscar-caliber roles after winning her many Academy Awards…
15. Depressed Slacker
After burning through all his Harry Potter money, Daniel will use the last of his savings to buy an X-box, a rocking game chair and a year’s worth of antidepressants.
16. Circus Geek
Before graduating to biting the heads off chickens, Daniel could practice by eating electronics.
17. Floor Sander
I bet he’ll wish his wand had a nifty spell for home renovation!
18. Bookie
Of course, he’ll have to start as a bag man…
19. Stand-Up Comic
Daniel’s whole act could be based on hysterical lines from Harry Potter … “Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
20. Professional Chef
Who wouldn’t want to try recipes from the HP movies? Ton-Tongue Toffee, Cockroach Clusters, Maggoty Haggis … nom, nom, nom.
21. Steve Carrell’s Role in the Remake of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”
We have no proof that Daniel still has his virginity, but we suspect it might “grow back” after his post-Potter movies tank.
22. Serial Killer
It’s a fact: Most serial killers are described by their friends and neighbors as “the nicest young man” …
Do you have any ideas for what Daniel should do after the end of the Harry Potter films? Tell us in the comments below!
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