By the end of this week I need to answer a dozen or so questions sent to me as a part of an on line interview.
I thought it might be fun to answer some of those questions here on Smosh so that you could get to know the real me, and who better to ask these questions of, than the person who has known me the longest... my imaginary friend.
His name is Sir Von Bundoo and has been with me nearly 30 years.
Interview With Sir Von Bundoo & Chris D.
Chris D.: Sir Von Bundoo, first off thank you for your time, and secondly how do you know Chris?
Sir Von Bundoo: Well, Chris invented me around the age of five and before that I was one of the voices in Keith Richards head.
Chris D.: Sir Von Bundoo may I ask what is the oddest thing you have seen Chris do?
Sir Von Bundoo: There are many things but the incident that leaps to mind is the time I found Chris passed out on the front lawn naked from the waist up and covered in Cheeto dust. This actually happened 3 times in the 90’s.
Chris D.: Sir Von Bundoo, seeing as most children grow out of having an imaginary friend at the age of 9 or 10, how do you explain your existence well into Chris’ 30’s?
Sir Von Bundoo: You are correct, the average tenure of an imaginary friend is usually 5 or 6 years but in Chris’ case I believe that a lack of self actualization combined with the fact that his house, in the late 80’s, was festooned with lead paint and asbestos has alot to do with me overstaying my welcome by a few decades.
Chris D.: Sir Von Bundoo, what is the oddest thing about Chris’ personality?
Sir Von Bundoo: Where to start? I guess the most disturbing thing is that a grown man still is in the habit of tucking in his sheets. Not for comfort but to prevent monsters from eating his toes in the middle of the night.
Chris D.: Sir Von Bundoo, again thank you for your time, and 1 last question. Where do you see Chris in 10 years?
Sir Von Bundoo: I have thought about this question many times. I expect to see Chris either inventing some great product that will benifit mankind or shuffling around a state hospitil while wearing tissue boxes as shoes and yelling ‘Suck it geeks’ to inanimate objects. Either scenario is as likely as the other.
Chris D.: Thank you so much for your time Sir Von Bundoo. It's been a truly eye opening experience.
Sir Von Bundoo: You DO realize that I don't really exist, right?
Chris D.: And that concludes my interview with Sir Von Bundoo.
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