Hopefully you know that inviting your new hottie to your parent’s house for dinner is one the lamest first dates imaginable. But believe it or not, there are worse ideas! If you want your first date to be your last, try some of these craptastic ideas.
Hooters
A first date—or ANY date, for that matter—at Hooters is not only tacky, but might give your date a complex about her own A cups. Even worse: Using a coupon to save 10% off your hot wings.
Square Dancing With Mom & Dad
You might think it’s super-cool to do-si-do in a cowboy outfit, but you’d be the only person on the planet under the age of 50 who shares that opinion. In addition to making your date wear a poufy skirt, you’re also sending her a clear message that you’re gayer than gay.
Panning For Gold
Standing in a cold river for two hours while you and your special lady sift through silt and river rock for tiny specks of gold…ah, romance. Not.
Alateen Meeting
Stale coffee and bitterness don’t set the mood for passion. Plus, if you take her to a 12 Step meeting, you’re telling her that either you’re an alcoholic or she is. Neither subject makes for good first-date conversation.
Cleaning Your Garage
Okay, you might think there’s no way anyone would take a girl to their filthy garage on a first date, but this really happened on an episode of “Millionaire Matchmaker.” Big surprise: There wasn’t a second date.
Santa’s Village
Dressing up like an elf? Sitting on a pervy Santa’s lap? Riding roller coasters designed for three-year-olds? What could be more fun on a first date? His & hers colonoscopies.
Your Little Brother’s Bar Mitzvah
No one knows how to party like an acne-ridden 13-year-old!
Toddler Beauty Pageant
Nothing says “I’m a pedophile!” more succinctly than attending a toddler beauty pageant. Is that really something you want your date to think about you?
Nancy Drew Sleuths Annual Convention
Yes, this is a real convention. But unless you’re a 12-year-old girl on a first date with another 12-year-old girl, do not even think of taking your date here. Honestly, a National Pork Farmers of America Convention would be sexier.
Your Weekly Dungeons & Dragons Game
Burger King farts, sweaty 12-year-old boys and the scary old man who still plays... do NOT spell romance. Especially if you kill off your date’s character.
Do you have any other ideas for terrible first dates? Tell us about them in the comments!
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