It's here! The flu and it's going around. The sore throat, fever, aches, pains, coughing, you can't go out, you're stuck at home and unless you have a test you didn't study for, it totally sucks. Eventually the flu will go away, but some damage can last a lifetime. Remember... when you're feeling sorry for yourself that it could truly be a lot worse.
Here are 10 things that are worse than having the flu.
1. Getting Your A** Kicked By Justin Bieber
You start off strong, employing your patented pseudo-kung fu move, The Nutcracker. But boy are you surprised when you find out there’s nothing there to crack! Then you get sucker punched... by Justin Bieber. The words ‘epic fail’ can be retired forever.
2. Your Grandma Turning Into A Zombie
It used to be so sweet when your Memaw would say “I could just eat you up!” Not so sweet anymore. Especially when she adds a few f-bombs and something about you burning in hell.
3. Making Pikachu Cry
Dude! WTF? This act is guaranteed to make you feel like doodoo. In fact this is high on the list of things that make you feel like doodoo, right up there with accidentally stepping on a kitten’s tail and crushing a unicorn’s dreams.
4. Getting Hit In The Face With A Bat
The good news is you’re the star of a viral video with over a million hits on Youtube. The bad news is… it’s a video of you getting hit in the face with a bat.
5. Your Parents Becoming Twi-Hards
I don’t know which is worse−Mom’s ‘Kristen Stewart to host SNL’ Facebook page or when Dad describes a stranger’s abs as Jacob-esque. Actually it’s the abs thing…definitely way worse.
6. Eating A Quadruple Down
The cold sweats, the double vision, the churning stomach cramp…it actually has a lot in common with the flu…with the bonus symptom of diabetes.
7. Realizing You’ve Been Crushing On Your Long Lost Twin
It’s good to have things in common with your sweetheart. DNA is not one of them.
8. Accidentally Summoning Bloody Mary At Your Slumber Party
You looked all bad-a** when you suggested it, but there ain’t nothing bad-a** about soiling your big boy pants.
9. Watching The Dobby Death Scene.
He was high on the list of characters you hate, only slightly less annoying than Barney, Jar Jar Binks and Scrappy Doo. But here you are days later still snot crying just thinking about his…oh damn…not now…gotta go. I’ve got something in my eye.
10. Meeting Your New Neighbor
Resisting free candy and free holiday gifts will put you in a constant state of torment.
What else makes the flu look like fun times?
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