20 Very Weird Phobias

Tamar Love Grande

People are afraid of some very weird things. No, not the fear of flying or clowns, but really lame stuff that will make you say, “What the firetruck???”

 

1. Gnomophobia

Gnomophobia is the fear of garden gnomes, which seems entirely reasonable to us. It’s only a matter of time before they team up to slaughter humankind.

 

2. Barophobia

Barophobics, people terrified that gravity will reverse itself, probably shouldn’t watch Trainspotting or The Crazies.

 

3. Arachibutyrophobia

The fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth, arachibutyrophobia claims the sanity of millions of kindergarteners every year.

 

4. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words. What a cruel, cruel phobia … especially on spelling tests.

 

5. Blennophobia

People with blennophobia, the fear of slime, must be scared sh*tless of Ghostbusters and Nickelodeon.

 

6. Dextrophobia

The fear of objects on the left side of the body, dextrophobia must be especially difficult for Two-Face’s enemies.

 

7. Paraskavedekatriaphobia

Another reasonable phobia, paraskavedekatriophobia is the fear of Friday the 13th … especially the worry that there will be yet another lame movie.

 

8. Pogonophobia

We must have pogonophobia, the fear of beards, because thinking about the bits of food this guy must have hidden in there terrifies us.

 

9. Zemmiphobia

This hideous creatures skeeves us out, too. Perhaps we have zemmiphobia, the fear of the Great Mole Rat.

 

10. Pteridophobia

No walks in the forest for pteridophobics, freaks who are afraid of ferns. Yep, that’s right. Ferns.

 

11. Geniophobia

Geniophobic people, who fear chins, probably don’t watch The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

 

12. Aulophobia

Aulophopia, the fear of flutes, seems rational when confronted by Jimmy’s magic flute from HR Puffinstuff. Sure, it’s smiling … but it’s the creeping smile of death.

 

13. Rhabdophobia

The fear of wands, rhabdophobia is another good reason to avoid Harry Potter movies.

 

14. Walloonphobia

Walloonphobia, probably the lamest phobia ever, is the fear of people from Wallonia, an obscure region northwest of France. Is it the scary rooster on their flag? No, it’s because Walloons speak French, and everyone knows the French are evil. Or ridiculous. Whatever.

 

15. Pteronophobia

Who could possibly be afraid of being tickled with feathers? Pteronophobics.

 

16. Nomophobia

Nomophobia, the fear of losing cell phone contact, is deeply rooted in teenagers everywhere.

 

17. Consecotaleophobia

Throwing star? No problem. Ninjas? Hah! Chopsticks? HOLY MOTHER OF GOD GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!! For consecotaleophobics, chopsticks are the most horrific weapons ever.

 

18. Novercaphobia

One’s stepmother inspires terror in novercaphobics – unless she’s a MILF, of course.

 

19. Helminthophobia

Like helminthophobics, we’re scared of being infested with worms, too. Especially since tapeworms can grow to be 37 feet long.

 

20. Linonophobia

The only time we experience linonophobia, the fear of string, is when we see it in some guy’s patootie.

Which phobia do you think is the lamest? Tell us in the comments!

 

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