It’s true: old ladies can be awfully boring—and then there’s that weird “old person” smell to deal with. But, believe it or not, there are some pretty cool old ladies out there, too. Here are some awesome real-life memaws we’d love to call “Grandma.”
Ruth Flowers – Club DJ
Ruth Flowers, AKA Mammy Rock, learned how to spin only four years ago, and she’s already the hottest DJ in the UK. Tricked out in flashy duds and cool shades, Mammy Rock has the raddest ‘do we’ve ever seen on a Memaw—you gotta love those spikes. Her grandson thinks she’s the coolest nana ever, and you’d better agree or she might go gangsta on your ass.
Iris Davis – Bodybuilder
Iris Davis is CUT—in a really disturbing way. Sinewy, shiny muscles are scary enough on younger female bodybuilders, and on a Memaw they’re downright horrifying. But Iris is also a crime-fighting grandma. At age 62, she chased down a robber and helped the police nab him and his accomplice. So beware, aspiring petty thieves: Memaw. Will. Crush. You.
Barbara Hillary – Arctic Explorer
Babs wasn’t just the first African-American woman to reach the North Pole. At 75 years old, she was also the first Memaw to do it—and she only has one lung. This year, she’s planning to visit the South Pole. Good for her—but we hope that’s the last pole she visits. Memaw at geographic Poles = good. Memaw on a stripper pole = bad.
Rachel Rosenthal – Performance Artist/Actress/Activist
If Lady Gaga, Betty White and Britney Spears combined their eggs, had them fertilized by Johnny Depp, and produced an old-lady baby, she might look something like 84-year-old Rachel Rosenthal. Known for her bizarre performance art, Rosenthal has shaved her head onstage, buried herself in fake snow and performed with live snakes. Her secret? She cusses like a sailor. A wacky, bald memaw who swears? Yes, please.
Eve Fletcher – Surfer
At 83 years old, Eve is the oldest female surfer still riding the waves. Says Eve, “I plan to surf till I drop. You are never too old to be stoked.” You can be too old to wear a skimpy bikini, though, so thank you, Granny, for wearing the full-body wetsuit. Keep shredding, memaw!
Harriet Anderson – Ironman Triathlete
This memaw has a bad case of the “runs”—the Ironman kind. She’s 75 years old and has finished in the top five of the 18 Ironman World Championships she’s run over the last 18 years. Last year, she finished the run with a broken clavicle, which would be hell on even a young competitor. We don’t think we could make it from the couch to the fridge with a broken clavicle, let alone complete a triathlon, but we’re not badass memaws.
Isobel Varley – Human Canvas
Isobel was 50 when she got her first tat, and now she’s the Guinness Book of World Records’ oldest tattooed lady. Her tats cover most of her body, as you can see on her website. Be warned: There’s an awful lot of naked, wrinkly, old-lady bits the site that will make you want to pour battery acid in your eyes.
Which of these memaws would you want to call “Grandma”? Let us know in the comments!
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