As I get older I do wonder if I will be forever alone.
I took a hard look at my personality and habits to shed some light on the possibilities why.
1. A joke gets funnier if you say it 100 times
“That's what she said” may be funny to you, but when your girlfriend wants to have a serious talk, even saying this once is overkill.
2. My sense of style leaves a bit to be desired
I think this stems from the fact that I am a social retard and spend the majority of my day alone in front of a computer.
3. I watch too much TV
Telling a girl that she might want to do her hair like Lois from Family Guy, could be insulting on a few levels.
4. I say pop culture references at the wrong time
Telling your girlfriend that her sister is “So Money” can be misconstrued in many ways, especially if said at her wedding.
5. I like my alone time way to much
When in a serious relationship you might not want to not answer your girlfriend's calls for 3 days because you want to master the veteran level on Call of Duty.
6. When in a relationship it is wise to shave at least once a week
I get the cool beard thing and I try my best to grow one, but my beard makes me look like the uni-bomber.
7. Never, ever think that she thinks your farts are as funny as you do
No matter what she says she does not enjoy the farting arts like men do.
To all of the ladies I have dated thus far, I am sorry and thank you for putting up with me as long as you did.
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