Some guy named Benjamin Millepied filled Natalie Portman with his children. Boring. They're going to have a bunch of attractive, functional children and that'll be the end of it. We've got a few suggestions of guys that we wish would have knocked up Natalie Portman instead.
1. Doc Brown
Doc Brown would be great at getting Natalie Portman pregnant. Plus when she gave birth, he could immediately build a contrapition that would send it back in time to the Old West to fight outlaws.
2. Barack Obama
Natalie Portman is the most powerful woman in the world and Barack Obama is the most powerful man. Together their child would be so powerful it would either turn the world into an idyllic utopia where all had what they needed and there was no hunger or want, or it would become King of the Earth and rule over us with an iron fist sending those who defied it deep underground to turn the giant wheel that generated the energy for its giant palace full of women and slaves.
3. The Terminator
Natalie Portman should give birth to attractive robot children who will stop at nothing to destroy us all. I say this to people all the time, and it's always true.
4. Smee from "Hook"
We just like thinking of him staring at her like that while she's giving birth.
5. Wolverine
Her child would be invincible, and more importantly, a bit of a wiseacre. Plus Jean Grey would cheat on Cyclops with it.
6. This Guy
At first you would think this guy wouldn't be quite right for Natalie Portman. And you would be right. Which is why he must be allowed to procreate with her.
7. Garfield
If Garfield fathered her children then they would be adorable and want to sleep all the time. Yes, they would cough up hairballs and when they became afraid they would spray a powerful, disgusting scent on everything, but it would be a small price to pay for saving time at the grocery store for Natalie because all her kids would ever want to eat would be lasagna. That's an easy order to fill.
Who else would you like to see being Natalie Portman's baby's daddy? Let us know in the comments!
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