10 Alternative Uses For Fitness Machines

Tamar Love Grande

You might have made a New Year’s resolution to work out, but enough time has now passed for you to realize you’re never going to get your butt of the couch. Instead of staring at the Bowflex while you’re watching TV, feeling guilty, you could put it to good use with one of these clever ideas.

 

1. Electric Chair

We think this machine could easily be converted to a very stylish electric chair. All you’d have to do is wire the current to pass through the headrest, which is conveniently positioned for the prisoner’s maximum comfort during the execution.

 

2. Portable Stargate

This stationary bike doesn’t look very comfortable, but it would be a handy travel-size Stargate. The seat and handlebars are marked with runes that will open the gate to another world. Make sure to bring your towel.

 

3. Superhero Testing Device

If you suspect your little brother might be The Hulk, you can test his strength with your dusty dumbbells. At least someone in the family will have cut biceps.

 

4. Playpen For Middle School Kids

Parents can keep their kids off drugs by confining them in this playpen after school and on weekends. It’s so fun that they won’t mind not watching TV, playing on their Wii or hanging out with friends.

 

5. Dining Room Chair

When you have an extra guest for dinner, you won’t have to worry about where they’ll sit. Your unused treadmill makes a fine dining room chair, especially for Hobbits.

 

6. Stripper Pole

A current trend in exercise is installing a pole in your home that you can use to improve your cardio, strength your muscles and seduce your BFs. Since none of these things are going to happen, why not use the pole as it was intended?

 

7. Cat Bed

Cats love exercise equipment! During the day, they sleep on it to recharge their Secret Cat Powers. They work out at night, while you’re sleeping, so they have lots of energy to chase each other down the hall at 4 a.m. As you can see, this is a popular use.

 

8. Toilet Paper Holder

There’s even a shelf for your bathroom literature!

 

9. Stairway To The Haunted Attic

If Micah and Katie had had this nifty stairway instead of that lame stepstool, they may have had time to catch the demon while he was leaving the picture of Katie as a kid in the attic.

 

10. Superman’s Flight Training Simulator

Even Superman needs a little practice flying. It’s important for him to have good posture when he’s racing through the sky, or he’ll get droopy legs and a lower backache. If you think you might be Superboy, you can use this fitness machine to practice flying before your gain your full superpowers.

 

Can you think of any other uses for the Bowflex you’ve been ignoring? Tell us in the comments!

 

For A Few Resolutions You CAN Keep,
Read 12 Easy New Year's Resolutions

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