I Taught My Niece How To Curse

Chris D.

My older brother asked me if I would babysit his youngest daughter who is barely 3 years old.

I was pretty excited because he and his wife had intrusted her safety to me as they went to a "Bible study."

She is an awesome kid, in my favorite age, where you can ask her to go get you a soda out of the refrigerator and without question she will do it.

We spent a few hours playing her favorite games and having a tea party with her stuffed animals. I can understand everything she said as she has a slight speech impediment, that I’m sure she’ll grow out of but we had fun anyways.

That was until the moment that she looked me in the eyes and said “F--- you”. I couldn’t believe what she had just said, so I asked her to repeat it and got another “F--- you”.

As I was trying to think of a way to explain to my religious brother and sister-in-law why their youngest child is now cursing... she said it again, this time with an upward inflection, but the question.

As my mind races for excuses to tell her parents as to why their baby daughter now curses like a sailor my other niece walks over and translates for me. It would seem that the little one was asking for the “vacuum” as she loves to do household chores.

Needless to say I was relieved that uncle Chris was not to be known in the family is the guy who taught his baby niece her first curse words.

She can learn those at school like the rest of us.

 

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