You think things can’t get worse then when your parents tell you they’re getting a divorce….then your Mom starts dating. And things get way worse. But stop feeling sorry for yourself, because it would be way, way worser if she started dating one of these guys.
10. A Stormtrooper
If you wore a stormtrooper uniform all day, you’d probably just lounge around in your underwear exclusively during your down time too. But he will do it sitting on your couch, with a raging case of jock itch, while eating the last of your Fruit Loops. Not cool!
9. Ned Flanders
Do you really want this guy hi-diddly-do-ing your mom? Hi-diddly-don’t.
8. Barney Stinson
At first you’ll be all like, OMG it’s Barney from HIMYM, he’s SO awesome. Then his catchphrases will start to seem not so funny. Just picture entering a dark house and hearing Barney say ‘wait for it… wait for it!”, followed by your mom excitedly squealing “Legendary!”. This is why it’s always important to yell “Suit up!” before turning the lights on.
7. Severus Snape
Hey, you read all the books, so he’s gonna have to try really hard to convince you that he likes anyone’s kids. Unfortunately his idea of winning you over will include things like scoring you two front row tickets to see Nickelback. I’d rather be Aveda Kedavra-ed!
6. He-man
At first it will seem like a dream come true… dating a prince and sleepovers at Castle Greyskull? WHAT?!?! But her dream will soon turn into a nightmare when he gets all Battle Cat on her after she catches him drunk-dialing Skeletor wearing nothing but his loincloth.
5. Donkey Kong
At first you will be super-stoked to hear all his juicy Nintendo gossip, including an amazing story about how Mario used to trick girls into letting him Donkey Kong them. Then you get into an argument with him about how annoying Princess Peach’s voice is and he throws his poo at you. Not worth it!
4. Cupid
It would just creep you out too much to know your mom is attracted to someone who wears big boy pull-ups.
3. Megatron
Your mom heavy petting with 200 tons of metal will bring new meaning to the words ‘squeaky bed springs’. And take my advice, if she does date him and you catch her dressed as Optimus Prime one morning… don’t ask!
2. Satan From South Park
Bad habits that you will hate include impaling your friends on stalagmites and peeing in the sink. Fact that will bring you immense shame… your mom is dating Saddam Hussein’s sloppy seconds.
1. Lieutenant Dangle
Sure it sounds like fun. I mean who wouldn't want their mom dating a cop? He could get you out of speeding tickets. Not to mention you could go and get your legs waxed together, and oogle over the same guys... But after he moves in he's gonna start bringing strange men home and putting the moves on your boyfriend when you're not in the room. Not so fast Dangle!
What fictional character would you hate to see your mom date? Let us know in the comments!
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