To me, Saturday Night Live is not just a TV show; it’s a news source, a concert, and a sanctuary, rid of the trash on Disney Channel—until now.
Miley Cyrus will be hosting SNL on March 5th, which just happens to make me want to vomit. Here are the top ten reasons Miley Cyrus should not be allowed on SNL.
1. She’ll invite the wrong type of people
Initial thoughts will tell us, “Well, five-year-olds won’t like SNL very much.” This, however, is not the case. They won’t watch it anyway; it’s on too late. Miley Cyrus will bring pop culture trash like the Jonas Brothers or, even worse, Perez Hilton.
2. Her parodying herself is a bad idea
SNL has already mastered the Miley Cyrus parody. Miley Cyrus interacting with faux-Miley Cyrus will just be weird. She is not welcome.
SNL fans: It’s not “pretty cool.”
3. Her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus
He’s just atrocious. Ain’t no one hit wonder like Billy Ray. But seriously, I’m not sure who’s worse. Also, never trust a mullet.
4. Betty White hosted SNL
By letting Miley host, they are putting her in the same realm as Betty White, who is clearly a supreme being. Miley is just an Auto-Tune protege whose only real talent is her southern accent.
5. They might let her sing
If she takes the mic, I will cry. I will lie down on my sofa, place a pillow on my face, and cry for the future of music. Sob. The Strokes, however, will be the musical guest, offering hope. And suddenly, the universe will return to its perfect balance.
6. Miley Cyrus is a fraud
According to Wikipedia, the source of all true knowledge, her real name is Destiny Hope Cyrus. Firstly, that’s a dreadful name, unless you're a stripper. And secondly, what’s Miley then?
7. She “can’t be tamed”
I don’t think that letting wild animals around the set of SNL is a very good idea. She might eat someone.
8. She was extremely excited for the Kids’ Choice Awards (four exclamation points)
It is common knowledge that the KCAs are the lowest of all awards shows. Miley is way too happy about being nominated for the Favorite TV Actress category. That is a joke.
9. She can’t even lip sync
I know it will be torture but if you can handle it watch a few minutes of this “Can’t Be Tamed” music video. It couldn’t be more clear that it is lip syncing. This is the 21st century! How hard can it be?
10. She is from two different worlds?
Celebrity? Civilian? Demigod? No, it’s just Miley Cyrus. She claims to come from two different worlds, but, in fact, they are both planet Earth.
Why else should Miley be banned from SNL or television in general? Tell us in the comments below!
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