I don't often curse but when I do I like to make up the bad words. Some are conjunctions of real words, some are wholly made up. This serves two purposes, it lets me curse is a PG-rated way, and also allows me to confuse people which I must admit is one of my shameful joys. So with that said enter my secret world of made up curses.
Boone-quest
I use this phrase as a substitute for going #2, so if I call you a "Boone-quest head" then you know that I am mad at you.
Hoggle-dander
Hoggle-dander can be used for any person that acts stupid. I would have been called this name many times throughout my life if it wasn't for the fact I made the word up.
Fart-rider
Fart-rider is my all-purpose fallback curse. It can be used as a verb or a noun.
Fluge-dangler
A fluge-dangler is a name you never want to be called as it is considered perverted to dangle your fluge in public.
Sauce-monkey
This is one of my favorites as it can be taken a few ways and is sure to piss of almost anyone.
Toe-hat
I like this curse if only for the fact that the idea of little tiny hats on toes makes me smile.
Son of a blerg
This on is a pretty obvious substitution for a well know phrase, I really enjoy watching the person that I just said this to try to figure out if I misspoke and what word was I trying to say.
Snot-hammer
(not this Hammer)
Is it a hammer made of dried snot? A hammer that is used just for hammering snot? Why would you hammer snot? The possibilities are endless!
Flaming Poo-master
Again, one of my favorites, I just love the thought of spending years in flaming-poo school as a flaming-poo student before reaching the level of master.
Godzilla Farts
This is pretty self explanatory and I love to watch people scratch their head at the question for the ages, does Godzilla really fart? I mean, if he did that would be a horrible fart.
Dung-dancer
I am a big fan of alliteration, dancing and poo. What a better way to join my love of cursing with a few of my other favorites than dung-dancer?
Goo-Noodler
Hands down this is my favorite curse. I have shouted this at people I was arguing with and usually they stop arguing immediately.
What's your favorite made-up curse words? Let me know in the comments below.
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