I find myself pondering the awesomeness of being a cyborg at least once a month.
Who doesn't want to be part robot - part human? Besides the fact that you'll probably never be able to make it through airport security I believe that being a cyborg would, indeed, be the tits! But what parts to make human and what parts to robot?
Eyes
I would love robot eyes! The closest I have gotten so far is when I had laser eye surgery to correct my vision... as many times as I asked him to say it, the doctor would not say that I would have robot eyes after the surgery. You would think after I dropped $3000 on the operation he could at least throw me a bone.
Arms
The only reason that I want robot arms is that I want to pretend that I am Sly Stallone from Over the Top. Probably the worst use of high tech robotics ever.
Feet
If I had robot feet I so would have won my 4th grade kickball tournament. I know the girls from MLK middle school cheated although that has never been proven.
Hair
(not this kind of metal hair)
I cant think of how metal hair might improve my life but I want it as I would be able to one up all of the guys with nice cars or lots of money. “Hey nice car, I bet it is fast! By the way, I HAVE AWESOME METAL HAIR”!
Daddy Parts
For no other reason than the awesome nickname I will have - I wish for metal junk. I would be proud to be called Tin Crotch, Shiny Bits, The Iron Wang or Magnetic North Pole.
Pectorals
(again, sorry not this kind of robot chest)
I have no other reason for wanting a metal chest other than the fact that I fear man-boobs.
I doubt that I will ever get any robot parts but if I do, you will recognize me as the guy who says, “Bite my shiny metal ass” 75 times a day.
Why do you wish you were a robot?
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