In the year 2025, the school system will be bankrupt. Since there won’t be any money for cool stuff, like art, drama, sports or AP classes, high school kids are going to have to form new cliques. Say goodbye to the goths, drama geeks, jocks and nerds … and hello to these “super-cool” elite groups.
1. The Brain Stems
Nerds will rule the world in 2025. Since it takes a lot of time to study, these kids will have USB ports surgically implanted in their necks for faster downloads. Yes, there will be porn filters!
2. Gullies
Gullies are gay kids who are tired of being bullied by big, mean homophobes. Gullies will form their own gang for the sole purpose of retaliating against their oppressors. Gullies don’t hurt anyone, of course … they force the bad bullies to wear signs around their necks that say: “ANTI-GAY IDIOT.” Either that, or tattoo it on their foreheads.
3. The Stephens
If you didn’t already know, Stephen Colbert is the coolest adult on the planet. In fact, he’s so cool, that kids will form a special gang of Stephen worshippers.
They’ll wear suits to school every day and pretend to hate Democrats. Oh yes, and they're all terrified of bears.
4. The Cosplays
Cosplay kids like to dress up like characters from video games, manga and anime, but in the year 2025, The Last Airbender will be the most popular kind of cosplay – after all, it’s the best movie ever made…
5. The RealVamps
By the year 2025, scientists will have created a serum that turns goths into real vampires. Although the serum isn’t officially available to kids under 21 years old, anyone can get it on eBay. RealVamps will have to go to a special school that only holds classes at night – oh, and they won’t be sparkly.
6. The PokeDorks
PokeDorks are easy to spot. They always wear yellow, and they never have girlfriends.
7. NeoPunkers
Since the only music that will still exist in 2025 is rap and techno, former punk rockers will form a new clique – NeoPunkers, kids who dress exclusively in Steampunk costumes. Instead of taking the bus to school, their parents will drop them off in hot air balloons.
8. Potters
Not only will Potters dress like characters in the movies (which by then will be regarded as “classics”), but they will be able to do real magic. Hogwarts Academies will become the new magnet schools all over the US. To graduate, Potters must turn their teachers into toads and gingers into normal people.
9. TwitTards
TwitTards are high school kids who tweet instead of speaking. It’ll be tough for them to do oral reports in school, but their typing speed will be 400 words per minute.
10. The Biebers
In the year 2025, Justin Bieber will be the most famous singer in the world, even more famous than Michael Jackson or the Lady Gaga. Everyone will want to look like him, even young girls. I guess that’s not much of a stretch…
Which clique would you join? Tell me in the comments!
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