I have been ridiculed, scolded, and hated for my bashing of Glee. But I admit this: I had only seen up to one commercial break of one episode—the pilot—because I had heard so much about it. Alas, I took the time to watch not one but two full episodes of the show. This is my conclusion: 10 Things I Hate About Glee. Let's roll...
1. Glee promotes teen singing-in-public
Singing is great. It’s great when you’re at a party, or in the shower, or alone in your room, or when you’re Cee-Lo Green. It’s not great, however, when it is spontaneous and in public. That does not happen in real life. And if it did, I would be forced to buy some muzzles.
2. It inspires more musicals
By taking (and ruining) some real songs, Glee has forged its way into the hearts of the youth, inspiring filmmakers to produce more musicals, the only thing worse than 3D movies.
3. Glee advocates Gwyneth Paltrow’s singing career
Gwyneth, you’re a great actress, but leave the singing to your husband, Mr. Coldplay. (Aside: nevertheless, she is still a better singer than most of the Glee cast.)
4. Glee brought Dreamgirls back
I shiver just thinking about that movie. But the more I think about it, the two are really similar, actually: melodramatic, annoying, and musical asides.
5. The names are obnoxious
Santana? Mercedes? Pillsbury? Come on, give me a break. Santana is a guitarist, Mercedes is a vehicle, and Pillsbury is just delicious, but these names are just too much for a TV show. What happened to Mary and Joe and John and Jill?
6. It is way too reminiscent of High School Musical
High school. Spontaneous song and dance. Endless stereotypes. In my eyes, the two are the same.
7. It glorifies Justin Bieber
Enemy of real music Justin Bieber is said to have good lyrics and not be as bad as everyone thinks in that “Comeback” episode. What? In what kind of distorted reality are these people living?
8. Jane Lynch
I hate that Jane Lynch is on Glee. Jane Lynch actually has some talent. What is she doing on this show? What are they doing to her? She’s probably being held hostage. This should definitely be investigated.
9. It’s so ridiculously politically correct
Glee producers: I promise that nobody will harm you if not every single race, religion, name, stereotype, and sexual orientation is represented on the show, no harm will come to you! I’m all for equality, but loosen up.
10. Plot?
All character development and no plot line makes me a dull boy. That is perfectly fine when making an indie film, but television should have a continuing plot line (with “The Simpsons,” “Family Guy,” and the like being excused, because they are immaculate).
This show is really just a bunch of vaguely related songs, teenage problems, and sexual tension crammed in forty-minute segments. And that is forty minutes too many.
Why else does Glee suck? Glee haters unite! Glee defenders feel free to explain why we're wrong. We won't agree with you, but you're welcome to have your opinions. Let's get at it in the comments below!
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