Charlie Sheen has officially been fired by his bosses at Warner Bros, and now everyone in America who cares about sub-par situation comedies now wants to know: who is taking over as Charlie Harper on "Two and a Half Men?" If you are a studio executive reading this, we have some suggestions.
John Stamos
His name has been floated as a possible replacement, and we think he may just be smarmy enough for the role.
Emilio Estevez
Emilio Estevez is a lot like Charlie Sheen. They share the same parents, are about the same age, and look alike. The only real difference is the tiger blood, but they have special effects for that these days.
Mel Gibson
If you are looking for that unique mix of alcoholic psychopath and acting experience that Charile Sheen brought to the table, we think Mel would be a great choice. Just don’t let him know that Jewish people work on the show.
Stevie Wonder
He’s an amazing piano player, plus there wouldn’t be any pressure on him to watch Two and a Half Men.
Wee Man
He’s an amazingly talented performer with a knack for comedy. The title of the show could be changed to “2 Men,” which would save MILLIONS in marketing and font costs.
Oprah
If you want to be greedy about it, how about combing the #1 daytime talk show host with the #1 rated sitcom. It’s RATINGS GOLD! Everyone would watch.
Muammar Muhammad al-Gaddafi
We have a feeling Gaddafi is probably going to be looking for work and a new country soon. We can solve BOTH those problems right now. Come on, Warner Bros, it’s about time someone did something nice for Gaddafi.
Jason Voorhees
The could claim it's the same character, he just all of a sudden loves hockey masks (and murdering people).
Rageguy
Kristen Stewart doesn’t know this, but acting is all about showing emotion. Who shows more emotion that Rageguy? NO ONE.
Vileplume
Vileplume has been pigeonholed as simply a flower pokemon that can release toxic pollen. But Vileplume has TALENT, man. He’ll bring in a younger demographic, and he loves taking drugs and sleeping with porn stars. It’s a natural fit!
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn’t go to auditions. Shows start up to accommodate him! However, maybe he’ll make an exception since he’s a big John Cryer fan. Based on fist strength, the show would have to be renamed Infinity and Half Men.
Who do you think should replace Charlie Sheen?
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