In the ancient days when the world was still new the Dark Lord Sauron created a ring of power to rule over everything. There was a great battle and the ring was lost. Then a hobbit named Gollum found the ring and there was another war and Frodo and some other hobbits defeated the Dark Lord and once again the ring was lost. But history has a way of repeating, and there are signs that the ring has been found again... by Taylor Lautner. Could Taylor Lautner have found the ring...? Here are but a few of the indications...
Here is Taylor Lautner post Oscars sitting underneath a waterfall and eating a still alive fish.
Taylor Lautner was recently spotted standing in an abandoned parking lot whispering to himself the word "precious" over and over again. His manager swears its drugs and alcohol, but we suspect it's the one ring.
More and more lately Taylor has been spending his time sitting on a high cliff and spying on raiding parties for the dread kingdom of Mordor. Taylor says it's just "a great reason to get out of the house," but we're not so sure.
Taylor Lautner, on the set of "Twilight: Nocturnal Evenings," complaining that the "Hobbitses control Hollywood."
The night Taylor's fans started to worry that Taylor might be under the sway of the one ring. Some of Taylor's friends had invited him to hang out at a local pool hall, but he decided instead of hang out all night on a rocky outcropping thinking about how much he liked his new ring. "It wasn't like him," said an unnamed source, "Taylor almost never spends whole nights alone, perched on a cliff in the moonlight, thinking exclusively about his new ring."
When Tiger Beat picked up this photo of Taylor at the beach Taylor swore it was, "Someone elses ring. Definitely not the ring of power," but the Tiger Beat reporter became suspicious when he then reached for the ring Taylor had on a necklace and Taylor bit his index finger clean off, spat it back at him, and leapt out the window never to be seen again.
What are other signs Taylor is under the sway of the ring? Can we help him? Is it too late? Let us know in the comments!
Check Out Twilight Being So Bad It Kills Someone Watching It!
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