Many video game characters have had to get side jobs as clinical psychologists to supplement their income during this difficult economic climate. Although their advice isn't always the best...
1. Link
"If you're feeling down it always helps to attack a chicken. Just don't attack it too many times, or a bunch of chickens will attack you."
2. Master Chief
"It sounds like you're really mad at your father. I find the Covenant Carbine rifle is the best weapon against fathers."
3. Luigi
"I find the best way to deal with sibling rivalry is just to let your brother take all the credit, and basically walk all over you, then when he finally lets you help out act like you're grateful even though you're dying inside."
4. Mario
Patient: " I don't know sometimes I feel I don't feel anything. What do you think I should do?"
Mario: "It's a ME MARIO!"
Patient: "I'm sorry I don't see how that pertains-"
Mario: "It's a ME MARIO!"
Patient: "..."
5. Niko Bellic, GTA IV
Niko: "First you pull the guy out of his own car, then you shove a grenade in his mouth, then I find it best to throw him at a hooker."
Patient: "I asked you if you think I seem distant."
Niko: "I got nothin' for ya."
6. Kirby
Patient: "Do you ever feel alone in a cro-"
*Swallowing sounds*
Kirby: "Oh no, now I have his powers. And his only power was sadness."
7. Ganon
"You say you are tired of being picked on by your boss? Do not confront him about it! Instead, steal his wife, create a mirror dark version of the world, and force him to battle his way through that dark version of the world to get to her!"
What other video game characters would make terrible therapists? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment