I don't like to brag, but I'm a super tough guy. I rip phone books in half and instead of cereal I eat live bees with milk. But there are some things that hit an emotional soft spot in every man, even one as insanely strong and brave as me. Let's dive in and see what men can't help but cry about!
1. The National Anthem
There is no more powerful emotion than love of country, so of course all men are going to cry when they hear the national anthem. Also, make sure this is the only time you're crying because the kids from Glee are singing.
2. Chopping Onions
We all know that chopping onions will make you cry. But feel free to use this as a loophole to cry about any onion-related pain from your childhood. For example, when I was little I used to chop onions for my dad and he would always yell at me because the onions were never chopped good enough.
3. Batman's Origin Story
When Batman was just a kid, his parents were gunned down in front of him. That's sad enough to make any man cry. But I would almost argue that the worst part is thinking about what Batman's childhood looked like after that. He couldn't even enjoy a simple game of Mario Kart without that little nagging voice in the back of his head saying "How does this avenge your parents, Bruce?"
4. Forgetting Your Shoes When Terrorists Attack Your Wife's Christmas Party
This really only happens to Bruce Willis when he's in "Die Hard," but if you find yourself on your fourth barefoot trip through broken glass then yeah, tears are on their way. See if you can find a quiet corner.
5. That One Really Embarrassing Thing You Did A Long Time Ago That No One But You Remembers
You're thinking about it right now, aren't you? Why were you so mean to that girl/ cold to that friend/ bad at chopping that onion? Ultimately, there's nothing to be done about it now, so just cry it out and move on already!
6. The Ending of Metal Gear Solid 4
It's not that Metal Gear Solid 4 ends on a powerful, emotional note that perfectly sums up an amazing decade-long story. It's that there's a scene after the credits where they do some very not nice things to some very cute dogs.
7. The Beauty of the Written Word
Yes, poetry can be deeply moving. But noting post-19th century. I mean, unless you're a CHILD.
8. Majestic Sunsets
We all know that majestic sunsets will make you cry. But feel free to use this as a loophole to cry about any sunset-related pain from your childhood. For example, when I was little I used to watch sunsets with my dad and he would always yell at me because the sunsets were never good enough.
Is there anything else that makes you cry? The manly thing to do is talk about it in the comments.
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