I am so tired of the movies that Hollywood seems to fart out these days. They make me never want to go to the movies again.
With that in mind I have decided to help Hollywood out and compile a list of 7 movies that I would actually LIKE to see made.
Hot Gaming Zombies
This movie would consist of hot zombies wrestling each other, then making nice by playing video games in sexy outfits. In all honesty I have not fleshed out the premise fully but I think there is enough there to move forward.
Justin Bieber Death Match
In this movie.... that Bieber kid has to fight wild animals, and if the animals win they get to eat raw meat made from the flesh of Justin Bieber's most annoying fans, and are also dubbed King Tiger or Bear or whatever. If Justin wins he also gets to eat raw meat made from the flesh of his own most annoying fans. You can't tell me there aren't a few he wouldn't like to get rid of.
Did You See That Explosion?
This movie will be literally 90 minutes of crap blowing up! No talking, no product placement just stuff blowing up. There may or may not be hotties. Might be better in 3-D
Animal Dress-Up Party
The perfect date movie! Well maybe, the ladies will love it and I have never met a guy that didn’t “awww” at a Golden Retriever in a neckerchief and a tiny top hat.
Zach Galifianakis Does Anything
I don’t care what he does this man is money! You don’t even need a plot, you can just follow him to the supermarket and throw that up onto the screen and call it good. He is a triple threat, he acts, he is a comedian and a purveyor of fine facial hair. He is Hollywood’s full meal deal!
Crotch Shots
I know what you are thinking and I ask that you get your mind out of the gutter, mine is already there and there is just no more room! This movie would be guys getting hit/kicked in the crotch. The sad truth ladies is, as funny as you find this... us guys find it funnier and we know how bad it hurts.
Impromptu Fart
Maybe this one is for the guys, but I envision fart machines... lots and lots of fart machines... I also envision some lawsuits and violent behavior when the fart machines are found out... but it’s all in the name of movie making, and schadenfreude.
I seriously doubt any of these movies will ever be made. I just hope that Hollywood figures out that all we really want is hot chicks, cute animals and fart sounds.
What movies would you like to see made? Please pitch your ideas in the comments below! Maybe some fancy Hollywood bigwig executive will see your comment and you'll be famous for farting out the next Hollywood stink bomb!
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