Jared Leto Eating Very Upsetting Things

Daniel Dominguez

Jared Leto is a great actor and an even better masseuse, but he has never been very discerning with what he eats. Here are some of the most upsetting things paparazzi have caught him eating.

 

1. An Excitable Puppy

Why did he do it? According to his publicist, "Because he can."

 

2. Barack Obama Holding 5 Cupcakes

He was so hungry for the cupcakes Barack brought him for his birthday he just grabbed the President and ate his way through him to get to the cupcakes.

 

3. A Giant Hoagie

It's already upsetting enough that Jared Leto feels like he needs a hoagie as big as all that, but it's even more alarming when you learn that the hoagie was a gift from none other than hated North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Il, in return for Jared's work quelling dissidents.

 

4. 12 Expired Eggs

The expiration date on these eggs? May 15th, 1997.

 

5. The Constitution

Is nothing sacred to Jared Leto? It would appear not.

 

6. A Bob-omb

Come on Jared, that's just not safe.

 

7. The First Fully Electric Vehicle

Jared Leto, as has been will documented, has most of his money sunk into oil futures. He will consume any car that gets in the way of his vast oil fortune.

 

8. The Anti-Christ

He did save the world by eating the Secret Beast that was sent by the Evil Forces to end the world. So there's that. I'm still upset at him for eating my dog though.

 

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