Very Best Of FMyLife: Vol 5

FMyLife

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Sometimes, life sucks so hard, there's only one thing to say... F My Life! That's where FMyLife.com comes in, collecting worst moments of our existance in one place. Here are some of the best FML moments this week!

 

You got goat'd!

goat'd

 

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks, Grandma

Runescape girl

 

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not nor ever have been autistic. FML

 

 

 

 

Worst sunscreen ever

Sunscreen

 

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FMLL

 

 

 

 

Oh Gramps!

gramps

 

 

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

 

 

 

 

 

Why you are single

no facebook friends

 

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

 

 

 

 

 

Dislike

dislike

 

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

 

 

 

 

Fountain!

blood fountain

 

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

 

 

 

 

 

Good girl!

Attack Clowns

 

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gross

pikachu sad

 

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

 

 

 

 

Sext

sext

 

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

 

 

 

 

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