Sometimes, life sucks so hard, there's only one thing to say... F My Life! That's where FMyLife.com comes in, collecting worst moments of our existance in one place. Here are some of the best FML moments this week!
I like it when you boys are getting ready to wrestle
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
Eye carumba!
Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML
Snake? Snake!? SNAAAAAKE!
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Dislike
Today, I found a Facebook event scheduled for 11:11pm where they all delete me as their friend at the same time. All my friends are attending. FML
No you can't(onese)
Today, after having spent three weeks learning Mandarin Chinese, I decided to try my skills out. I'd spent time learning it so I could befriend the lonely new Chinese girl who recently joined my school, who doesn't speak a word of English. Turns out she speaks Cantonese. FML
Hitting the brown note
Today, during my clarinet lesson, I viciously farted while trying to play a high note. The teacher had a coughing fit and cancelled the rest of the lesson. FML
Why wouldn't they work?
Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML
Inception'd!
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
At least it was only $5
Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch Ham Sub. FML
So... Team Edward?
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
For more, check out FMyLife.com!
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