We’ve all been asked this question at least once in our lives: “If you were stranded on a deserted island, what would you bring with you?” For me the answer is not what I would bring but whom. In this case I limit myself to some of the best, most resourceful, most helpful, or generally all-around entertaining fictional characters I would like to accompany me on my unexpected island stranding.
10. Sue Sylvester
Known to you as Glee’s super snarky villain, I would grab S.S. to be my island mate just in case we get unexpected visitors that need to be pushed out of our quarters by sarcasm alone.
9. Inspector Gadget
Inspector Gadget’s endless supply of useful gadgetry speaks for itself when it comes to deserted island living. I’m certain a button or lever within his trench coat alone cannot only produce shelter, water, but quite possibly - food. Though I will have to ask how long it’s been stored on his person before consuming.
8. Hermione Granger
Sure, she might not be the most pleasant partner in the conversation department, but I’m certain her encyclopedic knowledge on spells, curses and incantations that would ward off all evil spirits from our camp would be useful. You know, just in case Voldemort decides to go all Lost style on us.
7. Remi
Yes, he’s a rat. Yes, I might confuse him with the rodent infestation already present on the island. But he would most likely produce the best tasting island food I could ever imagine, and mama’s gotta eat.
6. Lisa Simpson
You know when people usually ask what you would take on an island and one of your answers is usually your favorite book? Well bringing Lisa Simpson is like bringing every book you ever read, and then some.
5. Ron Burgundy
Sure he may not be much in the survivor skills department, but Ron would most likely entertain for hours with his nonsensical ramblings and would probably smell good. Just think about it, there are worse things to have at your side as you fish for dinner.
4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Hey - I don’t know what kind of freaky fictional characters are on this island. Did you see the last King Kong movie? They had dinosaurs. DINOSAURS. And zombies (I think?) Besides, everyone knows the natural progression is Dinosaurs > Zombies > Vampires. So might as well bring Buffy along just in case.
3. Noah
Hey - what if I need someone to take my breath away and romanticize the hell out of me on this island too? I’m not made of stone.
2. Juno
I’ll probably need a sarcastic endlessly entertaining with inventive lingo best friend on this island too. Good call.
1. Chuck Noland
Are you the least bit surprised? I mean, seriously. We’re stranded on a DESERTED ISLAND, not taking the lead in Cast Away is like not calling up Batman to help you when you’re being held hostage by a villain with a flamboyant taste for clothing. It just makes sense.
Who would you like to be stranded with? Let's discuss in the comments.
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