So you've been bitten by a werewolf, have you? Don't get bent out of shape about it! With just a few simple tips, you can become a happy, healthy lycanthrope and feel confident that you're making the most of the wretched curse that has befallen you.
1. Allow Yourself Time To Be A Werewolf
Set aside ten minutes a day and allow yourself to be a werewolf. Don't beat yourself up over it, just bring a live chicken to work and eat it in the break room.
2. Plan Ahead
On the afternoon of the full moon, go hike into the middle of the woods and wait until the transformation happens. If you don't do this, you'll transform right in your own house! Boy will you have egg (and the blood of your loved ones) on your face then!
3. Go To Bed Early
Getting to bed early is important, as you'll need plenty of time to fall back asleep after you wake up in the middle of the night over and over again, horrified at what you've become.
4. Make Wolfsbane Potion A Reward Rather Than A Routine
It's easy to rely on wolfsbane, a rare potion that can curb the effects of werewolfism, to try and go back to the life you once had. But don't use it too much! The potion will work less and less as your body builds up a tolerance. Save it for nights when you only murder one or two teenagers. You know, when you've really earned it.
5. Wear A Rubber Band
Are you always transforming during the LEAST convenient times? Use the same trick that helped you quit biting your nails. Every time you feel the urge to turn into a savage beast of the night, snap the rubber band around your wrist to remind yourself that this is NOT the time.
6. Tell The People In Your Life
It's a good idea to be open and honest about your condition to your closest family and friends. Unless your family and friends are werewolf hunters. In which case, kill them.
7. Keep A Werewolf Journal
Pick up a small notebook and jot down anything you'll have to do when you finally regain control of yourself. Then in the morning you're not racking your brain trying to remember if you have to go bury the bones of your victims to KEEP YOUR SECRET SAFE.
8. Adjust Your Diet
A lot of new werewolves find themselves simply LUMBERING through their first night hunt. To get back some of that energy, try eating more protein. More than you've ever eaten before. More than any man has ever eaten before. Because you are no longer a man. And you must never forget that.
Hey, experienced werewolves! Anything you stumbled upon that helped you through these tough early months? Why not share in the comments?
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