Lil Jack Jack Reviews Movies!

L'il Jack Jack

[editor note: Lil Jack Jack is our 2nd cousin. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed but he’s a good kid and he loves movies! We don’t let him go to the movies after the popcorn incident, so he has to give his reviews based on the poster.]

Hey everybody! Thanks for reading my reviews! Let’s hurry up and get to them because I have to go number 2 soon!

Fast Five

The Rock and Vin Diesel are in this movie, but I always thought they were the same person. Is this like Inception? I saw a commercial for that movie and it game me a headache and I wouldn’t stop crying until mom gave me the juice that comes in the silver bag that you have to stab. But there are a lot of cars in this movie and they go really fast and explode so I give it a A+ out of ten!

 

Water For Elephants

That looks like Robert Pattinson. My reading is not good but I am trying to make out the names on the poster. Rouowierebert Pasreettion? Words are hard! I’m pretty sure it’s him. Since I don’t have a man-crush on him at all, I do not. I should probably not see this cause it won’t get me too excited.

 

Madea's Big Happy Family

I love black people. This one has a BUNCH! That Mathew Perry is a crack up. He looks like a woman! I also like Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby, all the Wayeneses, and Eminem. They’re the funniest.

 

13 Assassins

You had me at 1!

 

Hoodwinked 2

I don’t understand all my feelings but Red looks sexy in a sexy cartoon character way? Kinda like Jessica Rabbit but sexier. I just learned that word from sneaking and watching Sex and the City on TBS! SEXY! Also, treats, the first hoodwinked had treats. I love treats. Treats! Treeeeeaaaaats!

 

Prom

NO!

 

Those are my reviews for this week? What movies do you like?

Watch if Scary Movies Were Real!

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