Getting on the popular show "Teen Mom" isn't easy! It takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and a real commitment to becoming pregnant before you are ready. Teen moms from the first season of "Teen Mom" have gone on to all sorts of meaningful work. Two of the teen moms from season one went on to win Fulbright awards for their work in bioengineering and astrology, respectively, while a third teen mom went on to single handedly locate and capture notorious terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden. As you might expect, the competition to get on this season of "Teen Mom" was understandably fierce. So what does it take to get on the show?
Be Pregnant, Or Have Children
You'd think this was a real no brainer, but you'd be surprised the number of girls auditioning who thought that the title of the show meant that it was about teenagers who HAD mothers.
Do Not Do A Perfect Job Taking Care Of Your Child/ Children
Television viewers are voracious entertainment-starved morality-free empathy-less consumers who feed off the pain of people they don't know. So if you and your child are doing great, expect not to get cast. If, however, you woke up from an all-night bender to find that you had accidentally left your baby in the mailbox overnight, you m'lady are reality show material.
Be Poor
If you have a lot of money even if you're a teenager your baby will probably be fine. Viewers don't want to watch a baby relaxing in a golden crib in a giant mansion, they want to see a baby that gets left alone for hours at a stretch because its mother has to go earn a living pole dancing at a Korean nightclub where the business men are allowed to throw ice at her if she doesn't dance fast enough.
Name Your Son/ Daughter After A Luxury Car That You Can't Afford
"Bentely", "Mercedes", "Lexus", all great names to increase your chances of getting you and your child on "Teen Mom." I've heard rumors that one kid on the next season of "Teen Mom" is named "Aston Martin DB9 Volante Convertible".
Be Just Attractive Enough That Guys Will Want To Watch And Girls Will Want To Be Critical Of You
Women who watch reality shows tend to watch them so they can gossip about how bad the haircuts/makeup are. Men watch the shows so they can see if any nipples get hard during the interviews.
Feed Your Baby Whiskey To Get It To Sleep
Now that's television, baby!
Leave Your Baby Alone While You Make Out With A Stranger In A Hot Tub
MTV includes stipulations for bonuses in the contracts of any star on "Teen Mom" if they "leave their baby alone while making out with someone they don't know in a hot tub," "ask their toddler to hold their cigarrette while they open a beer," or, "try to get a drug dealer to take their baby in exchange for exstasy."
How else can you get on Teen Mom? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment