The most common reason people return as ghosts is because they feel they have unfinished business here on Earth. As egotistical jerks, historical figures tend to feel as though they have more to accomplish and therefore a perpetual feeling of unfinished business. Because of this, the odds are good that you know someone who is right now being haunted by the ghost of a historical figure. For their sake, HOPE it's not one of these guys:
1. Benjamin Franklin
Normally, when you make a painting or score a hockey goal, you feel pretty good about yourself-- a certain feeling of pride is in order. Not if you're being haunted by Benjamin Franklin Ghost. No matter what you do, you still haven't invented anything as revolutionary as electricity. Expect Benjamin Franklin Ghost to remind you of that every chance he gets.
2. Ghengis Khan
This guy was like a real life Heath Ledger Joker when he was alive, running around conquering the Western Xia and Jin dynasties like it wasn't no thing. Imagine him as a ghost-- dude would run amock! Murder the dog! Eat the bird! Take the TV remote batteries for his X-Box controller! Total anarchy.
3. Jesus Christ
He would be totally encouraging in everything you do. Which seems like it would be rad at first, but eventually, whenever you don't tip the Starbucks girl as well as you could have, or eat an entire pizza by yourself, you're going to feel guilty because you know you've disappointed him.
4. Winston Churchill
Let me start by stating that Winston Churchill was unequivocally a great orator and an incredibly inspirational figure. That said, he was a bit of a blowhard. Always reading aloud from his three volumes of memoirs or tossing out inspirational little quotes like "Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential," or "ten pennies is a nickel to a fool" (some were better than others). If you're going to be haunted, it would be nice to be haunted by someone who occasionally shuts up for a minute.
5. Sir Isaac Newton
Sir Isaac Newton, famous for first noting the effects of gravity, would knock items off your bookshelf not to make his ghostly presence known like most ghosts, but instead to show off his discovery. And who wants to always be picking up after Sir Isaac Newton?
6. Andrew Jackson
The 7th President of the United States, Andrew Jackson, was known to fight-- like physically FIGHT-- with his cabinet members, so we know he's rowdy. And even if he's chilled out in his afterlife, you know he'd try and possess you so he could work to abolish the Electoral College or whatever.
7. Mahatma Ghandi
After a life of nonviolent protest, don't expect Gandhi to take a very active role in your haunting-- he'll mostly float around and look intensely at you. It's still startling if you wake up in the middle of the night to see one of the most important Indian leaders of this or any century staring at you in a semi-corporeal form, though.
8. General Robert E. Lee
Besides destroying Superman's home planet, General Lee escaped from the Phantom Zone and caused havoc here on Earth. He would be an annoying ghost due to his tendency to demand everyone kneel before him.
9. Julius Caesar
Getting stabbed by his BFF Marcus Junius Brutus gave Caesar some huge trust issues. It's one thing to be haunted by a former dictator of the Roman republic, it's another to be haunted by a former dictator of the Roman republic who won't quit asking if you'd ever stab your best friend and if that's something best friends do.
10. Galileo Galilei
It isn't well-known, but getting the whole "Eart actually revolves around the sun" thing right was pure luck-- Galileo was less of a mathematician and philosopher and more of an insane man who just shouted things aloud whenever they popped into his brain. Imagine being haunted by a ghost who wouldn't stop telling you about the french toast hidden in his spleen or that the moon was actually a swarm of white bumblebees.
Is there someone else from history that could get under your skin in their afterlife? Tell us in the comments!
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