Mexicans are some of the most badass people around. They have tough nicknames like "Lil' Joker" and "Antonio Sabato Jr." They do badass things like invent the taco, teach kids to hit paper animals to get free candy, and star in talk shows after Conan O' Brien on TBS. So who are the most badass of this badass group of people? Here are just a few:
Danny Trejo
This guy is so badass he has starred in four different films where his character's name was "Knife." But besides looking like a badass, he actually IS a badass... when he doing time he won the boxing championship for the California prison system. That's right, he's more badass than EVERY PERSON IN PRISON.
Tito Ortiz
A UFC Champion for three straight years in a row, Tito Ortiz's entire career is based on beating the crap out of strangers for money. Badass? Si! He also owns Punishment Athletics, a workout equipment and clothing line named after the CONCEPT OF PUNISHMENT.
Cesar Millan
On the surface the Dog Whisperer doesn't seem like an especially bad ass guy. You might even say he seems like the exact opposite of badass. That he seems so badass that when he walks into a room full of badass people he sucks the badass out of the room and they all turn into regular law abiding citizens. But under the surface there lurks some serious badass cred. Did you know he got his start rehabilitating especially aggressive dogs? Before you judge his badassery think about how tough a dude has to be to one on one tell giant angry pit bulls to be quiet and act nice and THEY DO. Not to mention he crossed the border illegally at 21, spoke no English, and is now more famous than anyone you will ever know combined. So to those that are against immigration, know that if we kept Cesar Millan from entering out country a whole crapload of American dogs would be running through the streets biting babies in half instead of being cuddly and adorable and well trained.
El Vez
El Vez is an old school punk rocker who takes classic Elvis songs and turns them into revolutionary political music, all while dressing in spandex tiger skin outfits with hot chicks wearing tiger ears dancing behind him. Taking Elvis songs, which are mostly about how chicks are pretty, and turning them into battle cries for the poor and disenfranchised is definitely badass.
Louis C.K.
Louis C.K. looks a lot like a pudgy, balding 40-year old baby, but he is actually Hispanic. Hispanic, and one the most hilarious, poignant comedians alive today. Plus he once ate a mother bear in front of its cubs just because he could (so we heard).
Speedy Gonzales
Most mice, when confronted by cats simply lay down and accept their fate. But Speedy's heart was too proud, and his will to live too strong. So he worked every day, training, getting faster and faster until no cat on Earth could run him down. That is, when he wasn't busy breaking every mouse girl heart from here to Tijuana.
Rey Mysterio Jr.
Rey Mysterio Jr. settles arguments by doing something called the Avalanche Frankensteiner. Most people settle arguments by conceding their point. I think it's obvious what the more badass option is there.
Mia St. John
In her first professional fight as a boxer she beat her opponent in 54 seconds. The average knockout time for an officially registered badass is 1 minute 37 seconds. She also has a degree in psychology from Cal State Northridge, which is one of the most badass degrees you can get, next to Bare-Handed Shark Hunter, Ghost Destroyer, and Communications.
Wonder Woman
Although she looks like she was born in a white bread factory in Whitesberg, Lynda Carter was born as Linda Jean Cordoba Carter to Mexican and Irish parents. She is famous for being the most badass of the lady super heroes: Wonder Woman. She was so good at it, it took them over 30 years to try it again...
Cesar Chavez
"Make a solemn promise: to enjoy our rightful part of the riches of this land, to throw off the yoke of being considered as agricultural implements or slaves. We are free men and we demand justice." Cesar Chavez said that. How tough is that? What's the toughest thing you've ever said? "Mom, I asked for 1% milk this is 2% milk! If I drink 2% milk I'll get side fat and then Darell won't ask me to the Spring Formal!" Yeah, Cesar Chavez wins. He once didn't eat for 25 days to protest societal mistreatment of Mexican Americans. I once didn't eat for four hours and I started to cry. Cesar Chavez led a non-violent crusade for Mexican American rights that forced the federal government's hand, won Mexican Americans many civil rights, and changed the way our nation perceived an entire culture. What's the coolest thing you ever did? Beat Mortal Kombat on the moderate difficulty setting? Yeah, Cesar Chavez wins.
Who are some other badass Mexican Americans? Let us know in the comments!
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