Smosh-Pit blogger Danny Licht went to the Kentucky Derby this weekend and found some things he didn't quite expect.
The most exciting two minutes in sports (as well as the least exciting seven hours) took place this weekend at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky (colloquially pronounced LOO-uh-vuhl) and I actually went with my family. It was so cool. While there were definitely a bunch of things I expected to see at the Derby, like horses, and short dudes...
But there were plenty of things that I just didn't expect...
1. The Queen
The queen actually did attend the Derby in 2007, but I was especially surprised to see her waiting for a cab. Does she have some enchanted carriage made by Rolls Royce to pick her up and take her around? Oh wait, that's clearly an imposter. There are a lot of women dressed like the Queen at the Kentucky Derby. It might just be the crazy English style hats.
There are more crazy hats at the Kentucky Derby than a Royal Wedding.
2. Cheesecake on a stick
I love cheesecake and I don't really have a strong opinion towards sticks, but when they're paired together, well, nothing can be bad (unless it happens to be an especially sharp stick).
3. 165K people
Apparently people in Kentucky really love horse racing and overpriced pretzels.
4. Bert from Mary Poppins
Maybe it wasn't actually Dick van Dyke... but it was at least one of his companions from the pastel world that the foursome entered.
5. These guys
Driving past them, they yelled things like "Take off your top!" to my friend. Nothin' like a good ol' fashioned Southern welcoming committee.
6. The army
Don't they have more important things to do than wrangle a bunch of drunks? Yeah, sure, Osama is dead, but until I'm allowed to bring a tube of toothpaste on an airplane, the battle against terrorism—and toiletries—isn't over.
7. One of those American Idols
Didn't that show get repetitive after Kelly Clarkson? I thought I could avoid it by not watching Fox; I guess I'll have to go back to my Pakistani cave.
8. O Boy BBQ
Before a couple days ago, I was pretty sure that the only people who were allowed to drop the "h" from "oh" were hymn writers when writing smash hits such as "Silent Night."
9. The bleached-blond hair guy from Food Network
Aside from the cheesecake on a stick, I don't think the food would quite pass that guy's excellence test.
10. Lots and lots of drunk people
You'd think that the Derby is about horses and gambling but truly the Derby is more about bourbon and mint.
Did you watch the Kentucky Derby? What did you like about it? Tell us in the comments below.
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