10 Things You're Gonna Regret If The Rapture Doesn't Happen

Desi Jedeikin

So the world is ending on tomorrow (May 21st) and you’re gonna throw every caution to the wind and then some. This is the time to do everything you’ve ever wanted to do, without the threat of getting grounded or pulling an FML or worst of all…being ostracized from society. So yeah…party like it’s 1999, but you might wanna reign it in a wee bit. There’s always the one-in-a-billion chance (give or take a billion) that the world won’t end... and you don’t wanna be ‘left behind’ (see what I did there?) to deal with the fall-out.

 

Getting A Joke Haircut

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Shave it, dye it, perm it...fine. Do not install hardware into your fricking head! Seeing something this stupid actually makes me think that maybe the world should end. A clean slate could be a good thing.

 

Streaking

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The world could end any day, this is true. But the internet is forever. Do you really want your legacy to be a lesson in shrinkage?

 

Prank Your Dad By Pimping His Ride

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Heck, Oldsmobiles are for really old people and your dad’s just sort of old. He deserves a cool ride! He might laugh at first when he sees his Pac-Man donk, but when he sees that his bank account has been cleared out to pay for it, well you better eat a power pellet and haul ass, cause your dad’s about to get scarier than Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde combined.

 

Getting Married

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Not in a relationship? Don’t let that stop you! People have married their cat, the Eiffel Tower and an anime computer game. Don’t spend the last night of the world alone…be like the guy above and spend it with your new wife, Pillow. Greeeeeat idea! You kind of won’t die a virgin...whether it happens May 21st or 40 years from now, in your sleep, with your beloved Pillow by your side.

 

Blow Your College Fund On A Rare Animal

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Who needs college when you have a Pikachu kitten? Your mom’s basement isn’t so bad!

 

Tell Everyone How You Really Feel About Them

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You know there’s back hair sticking out of your collar, right? Yes, honey you do have a fat ass. Letting it out can feel good. You know what doesn’t feel good? When the world doesn’t end, everyone you know dumps you and a picture of you on vacation by yourself comes up under a “forever alone” Google image search.

 

Pig Out

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Gaining 20 pounds in one month never felt so good! Who cares if you have a skinny corpse…am I right? The good news is the world didn’t end. The bad news is you’re in diet hell. Trust me when I say you’ll feel like the biggest loser in more ways than one.

 

Hooking Up With Your Ex

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This is never a good idea. Anytime. EVER! Come Sunday, after the 500th desperate text, you’re gonna think the universe punk’d you on purpose.

 

Tell Your Boss Off

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That awkward moment when you have to clear out your desk, after telling the boss to shove it, because you misguidedly believed the apocalypse was happening. You don’t want this moment. Besides you’ll need that health insurance to get your head checked for believing in the rapture to begin with.

 

Defying Your Mother By Getting A Tattoo

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Hell hath no fury like a mother defied! You should have at least hedged your bets and got one of those mom heart thingies.

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But not that one…I give up! Maybe the world is ending?!?!?

How are you planning on celebrating the rapture? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out 9 Surprising Ways The World Could End!

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