You think you've eaten all the types of meat there are to eat? You're dead wrong. These are the best tasting little known meats there are out there. Plus, unlike cows, they're not making the polar ice caps melt at an alarming rate! These meats are so unknown, so rare, and so succulent they'll make your mouth water so much that people will start to worry for your mouth.
Alligator
Alligator is a white meat, and takes well to most spicing. Serving alligator at any barbecue is always a hit, except at a barbecue where all the guests attending are alligators.
Wildebeest
Wildebeests thrive in the grasslands of Africa. Wildebeest is a low fat red meat which is exceptionally tender and juicy, and unlike most animals, every time you eat a Wildebeest you gain it's powers. Its powers include kicking the crap out of rival male wildebeests, going to the bathroom outside, and preferring Letterman to Leno.
Polar Bear
It's on the endangered species list, so you'll have to use some back alley channels to acquire it, but let's face it the Earth's heating up and in a few years no animal that can't live in a boiling desert climate is going to be alive anyway, so you might as well eat them while you still can. Just don't eat any Polar Bear that's related to those armor wearing polar bear warriors from "The Golden Compass," cuz those dudes hold a grudge.
Kangaroo
Kangaroo meat is very tender, high in protein, low in cholesterol (less than 2% fat) and deep red in color. If only more people ate Kangaroo meat then there never would have been Kangaroo Jack, and if Kangaroo Jack hadn't come out, chances are we would have been out of Afghanistan and Iraq by now, as the only reason we're still there is Obama's blowing off steam from having just watched and been appalled by Kangaroo Jack.
Eagle
Eagle meat is traditionally eaten on Memorial Day in most of the countries America has invaded or held in economic indentured servitude. It is a succulent bird that can be stuffed with a variety of traditional stuffing, plus every time you eat one Rush Limbaugh gains ten pounds. So if even 10% of us eat one this memorial day he'll be so heavy he won't be able to reach the microphone and accuse feminists of witchcraft.
Locust
I sh*t you not, people eat these. They supposedly have a nutty flavor, and if you think about it, since locusts are edible, then when Armageddon comes and God sends plagues of locusts to swallow the Earth we can just all band together and eat until it's not Armageddon any more.
The-Green-Lantern-That's-A-Bird Meat
Tomar was a scientist on the planet Xudar before joining the Green Lantern Corps. He later grew to an honored senior member of the Corps, but his later career was not without cost. The most difficult moment was during the Nekron crisis when the death god used the spirit of Tomar-Re's deceased father to attempt to sway the Lantern to surrender. Tomar Re meat is light and tender. It is generally served medium rare, and goes well with a white wine or a nut brown ale.
Boneless Python
According to most sources it is a very "unique meat" and "extraordinarily tasty." It will definitely give you something to talk about at the barbecue, especially when you get to the lump in the middle of the python and it turns out to be a human baby.
What are some meats that you'd like to try? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment