You kind of took a vacation from being a student all year long, so it should come as no surprise that you’ll be spending the summer hitting the books. But before you get too depressed about it just realize…not everyone will be spending their summer at Disney World or in Hawaii. Some people are gonna be wishing they were smart enough to flunk…because even summer school is more fun than these vacations.
Redneck Family Reunion
Hey family reunions can be fun…but not when it’s the redneck side of your family. Everything reeks of Coors Light. You actually fear a three-year-old might rob you. And even though you always cringe when giving an older lady relative a smooch, it’s not usually because you have no idea where their mouth has been. These relatives make the people in summer school look like contestants on Jeopardy Tournament of Champions.
Branson, Mo
They try to sell Branson as the family-friendly Vegas. Yuck. SO much to do! You can go to the fish hatchery or see a concert starring an ancient music ‘legend’, a concert more horrible than anything Justin Bieber could ever do. Plus…this is the only place in America where you can see Yakov Smirnoff! If you think you’re tired of the ‘In Soviet Russia…’ meme—just you wait! You’ll be longing to have the un-family-friendly fun that your friends are having in summer school. Don’t be embarrassed that you snot-cry yourself to sleep every night…what happens in Branson, stays in Branson.
Senior Living Community
You love grandma and all…but there aren’t enough ‘fun’ activities in the world that would make End of the Road Retirement Community good times. Wednesday Wii Night can be very scary when you’re surrounded by seniors with bladder control issues. You’ve seen those late night commercials! And learning history in summer school isn’t nearly as boring as hearing the long-winded stories of people who were alive during WWI. Besides, every day is Wii Night at your home.
Death Valley
Hey dad got a great deal on an all inclusive vacation package in one of the country’s most famous national parks! Yeah… there’s a reason why the desert is discounted in the summer, pops. It’s called temperatures over 120 degrees. Hey maybe you’ll get so dehydrated that you’ll start hallucinating…ahhh now you’re sitting in those air conditioned classrooms they have in summer school. Just don’t go into the light.
Holyland Experience Theme Park
WHAT??? We’re going to Orlando? The Wizarding World of Harry Potter!! Finally you will taste a Butterbeer…dreams really do come true!!! Wait… what? WTH is Holyland Experience? Prayer gardens? Scripture-torium? Jesus Boat? Because nothing says family vacation like watching a live action version of The Passion of the Christ….yeah. Summer school FTW!
Nude Beach
Guys might be thinking heck ya! Nude beach means boobie time! And that’s true…it is definitely boobie time. But soon you will be wishing you were struggling through your lessons in summer school instead of struggling with ridding your mind of all the horrors you’ve seen. Because it’s not Gisele and Megan Fox running around out there in slo mo. It’s Great Aunt Ida and Uncle Harry. And no one wants to see old people boobies—on the women or the men. And yes…they do go gray everywhere.
Survival Camping
Camping can be fun. But extreme camping is not a vacation. It’s an episode of Bear Grylls: Man vs. Wild. After a few days of eating squirrel and suffering the effects of wiping with a poison oak leaf…you’ll be wishing you were studying Lord of the Flies instead of starring in it.
What’s the worst summer vacation you’ve ever been on? Let us know in the comments!
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