Evil villains tend to end up isolated in their evil castle/fortress/penthouse corporate suite/factory/hideout/weird basement full of moths and rusty shovels and a well where they keep their victims. But no matter how evil you get you still need companionship. And pets don't judge. Sure, people will mind if you're planning to hold the entire planet hostage with nuclear weapons for all the gold in fort knox, but you know who will love you just the same? A cat. Cats will love you no matter how many world leaders you crygenically freeze and replace with robots whom you control. But what are the best pets an evil movie or tv villain has ever had?
Cockatoo - Iron Man 2
When Whiplash wasn't busy whipping cars in half at races to scare Iron Man and saying awesome things like "There will be blood in the water, and the sharks will come," he was busy chillaxing with his cockatoo. Whiplash has a perma-angry stare on his face from Stark Enterprises destroying his motherland, which makes it hard for him when he goes on dates because girls hate it if you can't stop looking mad when you're looking at them, but his cockatoo loves him any ol' way.
Murder Penguins - Batman Returns
Penguins generally make great pets for good guys because they look cute, they quack and dance when you put on Arcade Fire's upbeat songs, and it's fun to kiss their bills because their bills taste like Easter peeps. But all that changes when the penguins have missiles strapped to their backs and kill on command. Sure, when they're mindless killing drones with missiles attached to them their beaks are still totally kissable... if you dare.
Panthor The Evil Purple Panther - Masters Of The Universe
Panthor is Skeletor's evil feline companion, a giant purple panther who serves as an evil counterpart to HeMan's Battle Cat. Instead of doing anything cool, Panthor pretty much just sits on the right side of Skeletor's throne and is only seen in a few episodes but how cool is a purple panther? Pretty friggin' cool.
Nazi Monkey - Raiders Of The Lost Ark
Indiana Jones thought this was just an ordinary chill ass pet monkey with a hilarious jacket, but little did he know that this monkey was all about serving the master race. Hitler sent the monkey to spy on Indiana Jones and collect information that would help him win the war against the allied forces.
Bubastis The Lynx - Watchmen
Bubastis the Lynx is the only creature that Ozymandius, the world's most powerful being, truly lets into his heart. A genetically modified super lynx has all the qualities that Ozymandius requires in a companion, four legs, rad ears, she's tall as s*** for a lynx. Extra points to Bubastis for being able to be both adorable and terrifying, like a 5'2" ex-girlfriend who gets drunk and throws things at you when you come home late.
The Rancor Beast - Return Of The Jedi
A giant roaring demon looking creature who lives in a cave and survives exclusively off the meat of sentient beings, the rancor monster is a terrifying perfect classic example of the concept of a villain's pet. Big, hungry, picking his teeth with bones, and surprisingly haunting singing voice. Not to mention he is the only creature in the known universe that has all the lyrics to "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" by REM memorized.
Humans - The Matrix
Human beings are mere pets and food for the robots in The Matrix. Fattened up until we're ripe and convinced we live in a simulated kind of crappy late nineties version of New York, the robots enter the simulation to play with us and amuse themselves as we do stupid crap oblivious to the fact that one day we'll blink out of existence because a robot has eaten us. The only good thing about all of this? The simulated world takes place in 1999, so the Twilight series will never exist.
Who are some other great villainous pets? Let us know in the comments!
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