It can be pretty embarrassing when someone sees that you have porn on your laptop. Especially when you’re trying to show your mom how to use a zip drive and you accidentally open up Whore of the Rings. That happened to a friend of mine… yeeeaah. But there are some things that would be even more embarrassing to have on your hard drive than something hardcore. Here’s just a few.
Photoshopped Pictures Of Yourself
Only on your laptop are you Taylor Lautner’s snuggle bunny or the proud owner of a pair of double Ds. It’s not really sad to want those things—well, not the boobs anyway—it’s just sad to magic wand tool your dreams into ‘reality.’ However, there is one thing worse than having embarrassing Photoshopped pics of yourself on your computer… and that’s badly Photoshopped ones:
Yeah guy, stop with the Photoshop and put your frigging laundry away.
Poetry
I did a little spying on my niece’s computer and found a folder named Bieber poems. I know, right? It doesn’t get more embarrassing than this:
I see your smile & I feel a warm glow from the deepest part of me
Sometimes it is huge, sometimes it is small.
Sometimes it feels bigger than a mall.
Sweetie… you’re 11. Stop writing poetry and stop glowing down there…where apparently it’s bigger than a mall.
Sexy Photo Shoot
If you thought it was embarrassing finding your dad’s porn, imagine how embarrassing it’ll be when he finds your homemade porn!
Every Email Your Girlfriend Ever Sent You
In the olden days it was probably kind of romantic to save the love letters given to you by your former flame… especially if she died of tuberculosis or something real sad and oldey-timey. But saved e-mails and screen grabs of her Facebook page do not seem romantic. It seems like it’s time for her to get a restraining order.
Fan Fiction
You can expect a lifetime of endless mocking if any of your friends stumble upon your attempts to write sexy fan fiction. Especially if it includes a line like: Then Velma looked at Scooby and said “I’ve got your Scooby snack...right here!” And btw there is no market for My Little Horny Pony…so just trust me—delete it now!
Horrible Childhood Photos
Never, ever, ever scan photos of your awkward period. Put them in a cardboard box in the basement and pray it’s the kindling for a minor house fire.
The Videos You Make When You're Drunk
What the hell dude? I know it’s hard when your mom remarries and has a new baby, but you need to work out your issues in therapy— not with amateur film-making. Just looking at this still from your film entitled I’m the Baby! makes me need some therapy…play him off, Keyboard Cat!
Fess up! What do you have on your hard drive that you wouldn’t want anyone to see? Have you ever been busted? Let us know in the comments!
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