We all know about rule 34, and we all know that there are NO exceptions.
We've all done a google search with "safe search off" that brought up images that will haunt your dreams forever. Things like two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles making out, or a seductive Care Bear. Goodbye happy childhood memories and hello to screaming ‘MY EYES! MY EYES”! Here are eleven examples of things that are NOT sexy in the real world, but thanks to some sick fan art, ARE on the internet.
Smurfette
Dear person who drew this, you do not live in Smurf village. You see, the Smurfs have no choice but to desire smurfing Smurfette…she’s the only chick in town. You, however, have many real life women that you can smurf…ah, who am I kidding? If you drew this you have no options. Carry on, you smurfing freak!
Marshmallow Peeps
The best thing about peep strippers is that they stay fresh for years...the same can’t be said for real life exotic dancers. Their freshness has a very short shelf life.
Marge Simpson
I just can’t even go there with Marge. I will ignore all sexiness and just focus on the donuts. Mmmmm donuts. Oh crap… I’m Homer Simpson. DOH!
Count Chocula
Who knew the Count was kind of like the Edward Cullen of the cereal world? Okay I guess… if you’re into that kind of thing. But I draw the line with him. I don’t know if I could take it if I came across a picture of Frankenberry exposing his franken-wienie. And I know I don’t wanna see what’s under Booberry’s sheet…especially if it’s Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Statue Of Liberty And Lady Justice
America! Land of the free and home of the smoking hot lesbian statues. That’s a slogan that will get American tourism booming again! You’re welcome, local economies!
Orville Redenbacher
Seriously? Is nothing sacred? What’s next? Mr. Peanut nude on a bearskin rug? Colonel Sanders wearing nothing but his black neck tie? The Charmin Bears getting busy…nevermind.
Mario
I don’t think Princess Peach did this to Mario! This picture begs the question…what’s really going on between Mario and Bowser? And how does his mushroom fit into the picture? I’m already sorry I asked.
Nyan Cat
I love both Poptarts and cats. But I don’t wanna get with them. Even if they get a sexy anime makeover.
Strawberry Shortcake
More like Strawberry Tart! I’m pretty sure this Shortcake works down at the Forbidden Fruit Strip Club with her best friends, Apple Dumplin’ and Blueberry Muffin. Actually, they all do kind of have stripper names…maybe they never were that innocent!
A Bell Pepper
I’d like to thank the internet for making me feel like American Psycho’s Patrick Batemen every time I whip up a batch of fajitas.
Pikachu
I choose you…PIKACHU WITH BOOBS?!? Going into fetal position now…rocking for comfort.
What’s the craziest ‘sexy’ thing you’ve ever seen on the internet? Let us know in the comments!
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