The hit sitcom “Two and a Half Men” will be returning to television this fall, and the producers are planning on being very subtle about why the main character isn’t there: they are going to kill him. I guess they are trying to make it so there’s NO chance that ex-lead actor Charlie Sheen can return, and since they can’t kill him in real life, killing his character will just have to do. Here are some ways we think they should get rid of “Charlie Harper.”
Mauled to death by a tiger
Yes, there’s a tiger, and there’s blood, but it’s not quite the badass scenario Charlie Sheen was hopping for.
Buried in an avalanche of cocaine
This would not only be a good lesson for the kids who watch (cocaine is bad!), but also seems like it actually could happen to Charlie. In fact, I heard they almost used this plotline in season 3.
Killed by zombies
Thanks to “The Walking Dead,” zombies are hot right now. Having Charlie torn apart by the shambling undead would give the show a chance to take that “half a man” thing seriously for once.
Killed by ninjas
Thanks to “being awesome,” ninjas are hot right now and forever. Why not let Charlie go out in the most badass way possible: hand to hand combat with a warrior of the night?
Immolated by an angry goddess
Charlie has mistreated women his entire life, so of course a vengeful diety would seek to burn away his sins though fire. Plus it’s a great excuse to show a girl in a hot costume.
Drowned in a pool of vodka
This might have actually happened. I don’t think anyone has seen Charlie Sheen this week.
Killed by his own evil twin
We find out that Charlie sheen has an evil twin. The evil twin comes to Malibu, shoots Charlie, then himself. (This could be a great roll for Emilio Estevez.)
How do YOU think they should kill of Charlie Harper on Two and a Half Men? Let us know in the comments!
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