Twilight vampires have the power to be stronger than werewolves, glitter, fly, complain a bunch about their pain, and abstain from sex. Admittedly these are more powers than a normal human has, but they're not very cool powers. Here are some powers the Twilight vampires would be way cooler if they had.
Laser Vision
Laser Vision makes basically anybody instantly radder. I'm definitely way more impressed by someone that can melt through a whole line of dudes than someone who can shine during the day.
A Rad Scorpion Tail
Scorpion tails make you look way more intimidating, and as any girl will tell you, ladies love a man who has an exoskeletal appendage full of poison.
The Ability To Urinate Fire And Use The Stream Of Urine Like A Whip
Pretty much the least well known and coolest power anyone can possess. Sure it won't take you all over the world like flight, and you can't punch through sh*t like with super strength, but just tell anyone this is your power and I guarantee they leave you the hell alone.
Great Credit
You can have all the impressive powers in the world, but if you don't have the power of great credit it's going to be more expensive to take out an auto loan, and much more difficult to purchase a home. So think about that the next time you're flying all around the forest not building up your credit, Mr. Edward "Irresponsible" Cullen
Hulk Hands
Hulk Hands are the funnest!
Emotional Intelligence
Being able to beat up werewolves is all well and good, but if you don't know who you are, I mean who you really are, you're never going to make a relationship work. Bella "Silly Ass Name" Swan and Edward wouldn't stay married a year, not even with counseling, without this most important power of all.
A Giant Chihuahua To Ride
Face it, not just vampires, but pretty much everyone should have this power. The government should make it a law.
What powers do you think the Twilight vampires should have? Let us know in the comments!
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