Are you sick of being the awkward nerd with no social life? Do people in your school seem to not even know you exist? Well, you’ve got two plus months to work on boosting your Q-rating. But you’d better get started cause it takes a lot of practice creating a whole new you! I mean, think about it…you’ve been your boring ‘real’ self your whole life! I’ve come up with a few pointers to help get you going in the right direction! I want you to get more confident, get noticed and, hopefully, get friends come September!
Come Up With A Cool Trademark
Think Flava Flav’s big old clock or Justin Bieber’s vagina. Nothing makes you stand out more than having a really bizarre accessory. Look at Amish Hub Cap Guy… half the school thought he was crazy ass funny and the other half thought he was crazy ass psycho, but everybody gave him mad props. He had a purpose. He was crazy Amish Hub Cap Guy….forever part of high school lore.
Get A Job At Hooters
Hey, you only have to be 17 to get a job at Hooters! Trust me, you’ll be invited to every party come fall, when you promise to bring a few Hooter girls with you! Those are the kind of plus twos that nobody minds!
Give Yourself A Shocking Makeover
Are you a scrawny geek? Go for the Carrot Top look! Are you the mousy girl who lives in the library? Make J Woww your style icon. Are you the misunderstood teen desperately seeking the approval that your daddy doesn’t give you? Become an emo boy that looks like a girl…that’ll get everyone’s attention! Except your dad…he’ll still be disappointed in you.
Become A Hugger
Everyone loves getting a little affection! It’s a great way to trick people into thinking that you’re really, really close friends. Even if they recoil as you approach with an unwanted embrace… they’ll never admit it. Nobody wants to look like a bad person for wanting to pummel someone who’s such a sweetheart.
Go To Cheerleading Camp
Everyone knows that becoming a cheerleader puts you on the fast track to popularity. Tale as old as time. Never doubt the power of micro-mini skirts and spread eagle jumps. Am I right?
Start Wearing Flirty Undies
It’s a widely know scientific fact that nothing builds your confidence more than wearing sexy panties. I read it in Cosmo’s ‘Science Watch!’ column. People will see you walking around with your new-found mojo and start wondering… what’s her secret? Play it coy—they don’t need to know that having Edward Cullen on your unmentionables is what’s really making your personality, well, sparkle!
Become Famous
It’s easier and easier to become famous these days…but people still find it impressive! It doesn’t even matter if it’s for something good like talent or brains! The kid above made headlines by taking an everyday activity to a newsworthy extreme. He probably walked down the hallways after breaking that world record looking like a king. I’m sure everyone wanted to shake his well-calloused hand…and then quickly slather themselves with Purell after doing so.
Pull Off An Awesome Prank
Punk your school like this guy did and you will become a legend in your own time. But remember, if you get busted, buck up! Do something whack in your mugshot…smile like a maniac or throw a white boy gang sign. It will only add to your street cred. Don’t be like this guy who went from hero to home-schooled.
What are some other things you can do to become a new you? Let us know in the comments!
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