It's that time of year when all the studios decide to release their crappiest movies at the same time. In the middle of all this arrives The Green Lantern, which is coming to a cinema near year this weekend! Here are some reasons why you should stay away from it.
1. A Ryan Reynolds Film
The only worse words to put on a movie poster are "Something Borrowed."
2. It's called The Green Lantern
Unless you're a comic book fiend, then this could be one of the worst titles I've ever heard. It sounds like something from SkyMall magazine.
3. Even the description is overwhelming
"A test pilot is granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers, as well as membership into an intergalactic squadron tasked with keeping peace within the universe." —IMDB SNORE.
4. It's in 3-D
Damn 3-D is the worst movie disease in the entire world (right aftern pneumonia and malaria and a few others). If you're not convinced read 8 Reasons 3-D Sucks.
5. The Mystical Ring
Let me get this straight: it's a movie about a random guy who is hauled off into space by a dying alien who gave him some sort of mystical engagement ring. What could possibly sound appealing about that?
6. Brings back bad memories
It reminds me of Tron, the movie whose best line was something like, "The sun... it's warm... and radiant... and beautiful." With all those flashing lights and bright (and radiant) colors, I think I'll pass on this one. As Shakespeare said of bad movies, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
7. The soundtrack
Apparently the last song on the soundtrack is featuring Ryan Reynolds himself. And as much as I've always wanted to hear him sing, I'll sit this one out.
8. 2 hours
It's TWO hours long, which would be perfectly acceptable for a movie with any substance. The Green Lantern doesn't even have an reasonable plot.
What would you rather do than see this movie? Tell us in the comments below!
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