Commercials more often than not are a bunch of crap. They take our fears and desires and twist them to get us to buy their products. But what would the world be like if the things commercials said were actually true?
Hamsters Would Be Capable Drivers
In our world hamsters are almost never able to drive cars. But if commercials were real hamsters would be amazing drivers, and also way more knowledgeable about hip hop than you.
When You Opened a Beer Women Would Immediately Want To Make Out With You
Beer commercials tell us that when you drink beer women run up and throw you on the ground and start to make out with you, when what usually happens when you drink beer is you end up throwing up in your friend's refrigerator and waking up the next morning on the floor of a jail cell after being arrested for trying to steal the lobsters from the tank at a Chinese food restaurant.
Using A Tampon Would Magically Transport You To A World Made Of Butterflies
According to tampon commercials whenever a woman uses a tampon she is flown to a lush green valley where butterflies bring her tiny milk chocolates and you can fall asleep wherever you want because the entire world is made of flower petals.
Tigers Would Like Bringing Children Breakfast Cereal
Commercials tell us that tigers are happy-go-lucky animals that wear scarves and delight in helping children eat a balanced breakfast. I believed those commercials. So I put my four year old son alone in a room with a tiger. He didn't get a balanced breakfast. Lord, how I miss my boy.
No One Would Get Laid Except The Old Spice Guy
If he were real there would be no way to compete with him. We'd all just sit around complaining while all the women in the world waited in line to be bedded by him.
Women Would Love To Clean
In the world where commercials were real all women would love nothing better than strapping on some pastel pants, getting down on their hands and knees, and using scrubbing bubbles to get those pesky spaghetti stains out of the carpet.
You Could Take A Pill And Be Skinny
Tons of commercials out there proclaim that a simple pill or diet fad food will help you lose weight, as opposed to just eating healthy and getting regular exercise. You know a product is BS when it's a diet pill and the picture on the box is a chick eating a donut. In the real world taking those pills you'll probably weigh about the same but have a lot more diarrhea and unwanted body hair growth as the pills screw with your metabolism and digestive system, but in the world where commercials were real everyone would take their pills, turn hot, grab a beer, get laid, and open up a tampon so we could all hang out in a sweet garden paradise where butterflies brought us water lilies to dab our cheeks with. Ah, refreshing!
What are some commercials you wish were real? Let us know in the comments!
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